


Change my mind

by queenxfhell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, High School, High School AU, Jock Dean, M/M, Punk Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:58:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 34,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4748936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenxfhell/pseuds/queenxfhell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam have been travelling through many cities with their parents. With that they had to go to new schools every few months. It was not a big deal to them because they knew it didn't matter if they screwed up cause they would be gone in a while. But now their uncle Bobby got into their way and made them stay in Lawrence. They actually found a house they would stay in and this time they couldn't just scew things up. They had to make new friends. Get good grades but this would be harder than they thought. </p>
<p>I suck at these I'm sorry so I'd be just happy if you'd read this fic!<br/>{Destiel mostly, Sam is also getting someone, don't worry!}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New city, new life

"Castiel! Get down here!" Cas heard his older sister Anna yell from downstairs. "Wait a few minutes I'm still getting ready!" Cas yelled back styling his hair for school. It was their first day back to school after summer. Almost everyone was going to school of his family now. Except his two baby brothers Michael and Lucifer. Cas put in his lip ring and took one last look in the mirror. His mouth formed a smirk and now he finally walked downstairs to see what his sister was up to. When he walked into the living room he saw Anna holding both of the twins in her arms trying to make them stop crying. "Can you help me out with this?! Gabriel is too busy eating sweets and the twins won't stop crying!" Anna sounded annoyed. Castiel couldn't help but laugh about his sister. He anyways walked over to her and took Michael onto his arms trying to calm him down, which totally worked. He laid him down in the baby transporter. "I'll take Lucifer as well, go get their stuff together and I will bring them to our neighbors," Cas ordered and Anna agreed with him.  
Castiel also got Lucifer to stop crying when Anna came back with a bag of baby supplies. "I'll be right back." He said when he picked up the baby transporter and the back. When he left the house, he made his way up to their neighbours who have been watching over Michael and Lucifer for a while now. They knew about the Novak's situation and wanted to help them as much as they could.  
"Oh, you boys look so cute today! We're going to have a real good time today." The lady smiled while picking up Michael and Lucifer. "Just put the bag next to the door. Pick them up any time you want." She continued before she left into the living room. "I will." he smiled politely and put the bags aside, closing the door behind him as he left. Castiel went back to his family's house and seriously hoped that everyone was ready and he didn't have to spend any energy while arguing with one of his siblings. "Let's go!" Castiel yelled when he entered the house. He heard the voices of his sister and brother. For sure they were arguing. Cas followed the voices of his siblings and ended up in the kitchen. Both of them were pulling a bag of probable sweets. "What's your problem?" Castiel asked crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Anna says that I'm not allowed to take any of my, I repeat MY, sweets to school!" Gabriel pouted still pulling the bag. "Because you've already eaten half of it and it's not healthy, Gabriel!" Anna stated. A sigh escaped Castiel's mouth and we walked up to them taking away the bag and taking out some sweets. "Take these with you." He said and placed the bag somewhere Gabriel wouldn't reach them. Sometimes it was unbelievable that Anna was actually older than Cas. "Let's get moving or we're going to be late." Castiel rolled his eyes. "As if you'd care." Anna told and they made their way up to school.

 

****************************************************************************

 

"And we're really staying here?" Dean asked his mother while chewing his breakfast. "Yes, we are. It will be better for you and Sammy. You haven't had a social life for months." Mary sighed. "We did. We have us." Dean smiled proudly. The bond his brother and him had was irreplaceable. No one could fit into Dean's life as perfect as his own little brother. "Except you and your brother. Dean there are also other people out there. Girls." She smiled at that topic. "Mom, you know I like guys." Dean sighed. While his mother accepted him being gay, his father wasn't happy at all about that. Especially cause his brother was also into boys. "I know. I'm sorry." Mary walked over to him and kissed the top of his head. "Watch out for Sammy, when you're in school. Okay?" Her face was full of worry. Sam never had it easy when they got into new schools. Often people judged him because of his wisdom. He knew a lot things other kids his age probably didn't even know that exist. Speaking of that Dean's little brother joined them. Well if you took his size he wasn't that little but he was three years younger than Dean. Sam hugged Dean and greeted him with a warm smile. "Morning Sammy." Dean smiled and hugged him back. Then Sam turned around to his mother. She kissed his fore head and also pulled him in for a hug. "Are you hungry?" She asked while putting some sandwiches in some paper bags. "Starving!" Sam smiled and sat down in front of Dean. A smile crossed Dean's face. Mornings like that were his favourite. His mother, Sam and him. Without their Dad.  
Dean and John didn't have the greatest relationship. He liked to avoid him as much as he could.  
"Is Dad still at work?" Sam asked while taking a bite of his toast. Mom gave him a weak smile and nodded. "Yes he is. But he will be back soon." She faked a smile. Dean could tell. Even though everything Sam really loved Dad. He was too young to notice all of the mistakes John made when they were kids. But Dean didn't want to tell him. Not yet.  
"Take care and pay attention!" Mary lectured the brothers before they left with a hug. Dean opened the doors to his impala and waited for Sam to get in. "Excited?" He asked when he started driving. "A little." Sam admitted. Changing schools wasn't something new to them. Staying at a school was though. Dean seriously hoped that this wouldn't go all wrong. He hoped he would get into the school's football team because now that they would actually stay in one place he finally had the chance to. "What are your plans for this school?" Sam asked him. "Get into some sports and try not to be the new weird kid." Dean shrugged which caused his brother to giggle.  
It wasn't a really long ride to school but it sure felt like ages. Sam and Dean got out of the Impala and took a look over the campus. "This place is huge." Sam pointed out. Dean only nodded in agreement. "Let's get our schedules." Dean suggested, walking into the building without waiting for a response.  
He knocked at the door of the principal's office and entered right after. "Oh, let me guess. You're the Winchester's?" The principal said and looked at them. Dean and Sam both nodded awkwardly. "Great. Here are your schedules and this young lady over there is going to show you around school." He said handing them their schedules and pointed to the red head standing next to you. "I'm Charlie." The girl smiled brightly. Dean smiled awkwardly and they left the office.  
Because of the guide through this school they missed the first two periods of the day. For Dean it was Maths and Biology. Great the subjects he hated the most. "So that's it. Dean I think you're in a few of my classes so if you need anything you can get to me anytime you want." The girl smiled and left afterwards. "Got everything?" Dean faced his brother to check if he was ready. Sam nodded and hugged his brother once again. "We'll meet outside of school when we're finished." Dean told and left for his next period. History. This would be fun. 

The room was full of students already. Dean could clearly see groups forming up. There were some punks, some nerds, the jocks with a mixture of normal's. Two seats were free. One within the punks and one between the jocks. He took a closer look but before he could decide on his own, the teacher told him to sit between the punks. He received some weird looks when he sat down. He did not fit in this section at all. Just before the period started someone stormed into the room. His arms were covered with tattoos. His lip and nasal bone were pierced. It looked good. Also he had some bigger lobes. He was kinda cute. Never mind he wasn't Dean's type anyways. Dean didn't notice the guy actually walking towards him. "You're sitting on my seat." He hissed at Dean. Dean looked straight up to the boy with ocean blue eyes and raven black hair. "T-this is your seat? I-I didn't know. S-Sorry." Dean stuttered. When did he get that weak around people? "You better be sorry." The black haired hissed. Another guy, from the jock section though, sighed. "Get your shit together, Castiel. Ms Mills told him to sit there. Come here and let the drama queen sit down on his chair." The other guy said. Dean didn't understand a thing going on right in the moment. He just got up and walked over to the last empty seat in this room. "Excuse my brother. He can get moody when our other siblings annoy him when he gets up. The reason I disappear before they get ready for school." The blonde guy said. Dean was confused. Nothing but confused. All he knew was, that the black haired guy was Castiel and that his brother was in this class as well. "I'm Balthazar by the way." He now introduced himself. So his name was Balthazar. Weird names they got there. "I'm Dean." He finally figured out to say and noticed that Charlie was here as well. She smiled and waved at Dean not saying anything else. "So you're new here?" Balthazar asked him. As an answer he only nodded looking through the class. There seriously were some weird creatures. "Well seems like you know Charlie already. Well then this is Benny, Jo, Lisa, Kevin and Garth." He introduced the people sitting around him. Way too many names for now. He'd forget them by the next period anyways. But at least he knew someone. What would be Sammy up to right now? Who knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this chapter I gotta thank you!  
> So this is the start to this fanfic and I don't know how I will actually update this. Maybe once or twice in a week cause school gets me really busy and tired atm. We will see about that!  
> I really would appreciate hearing some feedback!


	2. Coincidence or not

Full of motivation Sam entered the class. Since he was only in ninth grade he still had a classroom and couldn't pick which subjects he wanted to have yet. There were only a few students in the room when Sam entered. First he took a look around the room and then walked up to the teacher. "Excuse me." He said quietly. "Yes?" The teacher turned to face him. "Oh you must be Sam Winchester the new student." The lady smiled. Sam gave her a friendly nod back. "I'm Miss Rosen. Take a seat next to Lilith, the blonde girl in the front row." She introduced herself and ordered where he should sit. Sam faced the blonde girl who was obviously not happy about him sitting next to her. This would be fun. But Sam just nodded again and went to his seat.  
"Are you going to talk to me or what?" Lilith asked annoyed. "I didn't plan on doing that." Sam admitted and tried to hold back a smirk. "Who do you think you are?!" The blonde gasped. "Well I know who I am and I'm Sam Winchester." Sam just couldn't help but grin. "You will regret this conversation, Winchester." She hissed and then turned around. While she did that, Sam just shrugged and looked at his schedule to prepare mentally. It was maths. At least a subject he was good at. So Sam just waited for the class to start while the room filled up with more and more people. Almost every seat was taken. Only a few one's were left. It went good for quite a while but then he felt something hitting the back of his head the whole time. He turned around to see some girls throwing paper balls at him. They just smiled innocently when he gave them an angry look. When he turned around he saw that Lilith had his sheet of paper in her hands. "How sad it would be if you had to do the task all over again." She grinned and ripped the paper and if this wasn't enough, she split her water all over his stuff. "Hey what are you doing?!" Sam yelled which caused the teacher to look up. "What's the matter Sam?" She asked. "Lilith just ripped my paper and split water over all of my things!" Sam stated and held back the tears. He was very sentimental and would cry a lot at little things. The teacher raised her eyebrow as if she didn't believe him. "It's true, I saw her do it." Suddenly another voice said. It was a boy sitting a few seats behind him. "I don't want to sit next to her anymore." Sam whined and noticed a tear escaping his eye, which caused the teacher to sigh. "Then just sit down, next to-" She started but couldn't finish because the guy that spoke up for him just interrupted her. "He can sit next to me, come here buddy." He grinned. "Well then sit next to Gabriel, please. And Lilith, we will have a talk after class." She said and now faced her paper stuff again. "Pussy." Sam heard Lilith say, when he walked over to Gabriel.  
He sat down next to the guy and faced the ground. He was ashamed of being so weak. "It's okay. She can really make your life hell, if you don't act like she wants you to. Here take a paper of mine and write down my solutions." Gabriel smiled handing him a new sheet of paper and put his solved tasks next to it. "Thank you." Sam smiled a little and wrote down everything.  
As the bell rang, Sam packed his stuff and stood up. "Are you going to spend your break with me?" Gabriel asked him while packing his own stuff. "I don't know. I'm probably going to look for my brother." Sam said shyly. "I can go with you." Gabriel offered. He was a really nice guy. And it seemed like Sam had at least one friend at this school for now. "Fine." Sam finally smiled and they made their way to the campus. When they were outside Sam kept looking for Dean until he found him standing in a group of people. "There he is." Sam spoke and started walking towards him before Gabriel could answer. "Dean!" Sam said when he was close to his brother. Dean turned around and smiled. "Hey Sam." He smiled but when he noticed that Sam wasn't that well his face went to an honest face fast. "What's wrong?" Dean asked. Before Sam started talking, he noticed that all of his new friends, at least it seemed like they were his friends, were listening. "People made fun of me and messed up my stuff." Sam murmured and faced the ground. "Who did that?!" Sam could hear the rage building up in Dean's voice. "Let me guess Lilith? Gabe told me a lot about her. Hey brother." A tall blonde guys said. "Hey Balthazar" Gabriel grinned. "Yeah, she and her friends." Sam agreed. "I'm going to make her regret it." Dean's hands formed to fists. "Uhuh. Leave this to me." The guy, Gabriel called Balthazar, said. Dean only sighed. "Fine." He replied and relaxed. "What's been happening at your first class?" Sam now asked since he wanted to know if at least Dean had a better start. "Well I've met some new people but there was this weird guy called Castiel who was a total jerk. Typical punk guys." Dean rolled his eyes. "My brother is always that nice, don't mind him." Gabriel grinned. "Hey, I'm punk as well don't judge them! And Castiel like your best friend from kindergarten and first years of primary school?" Sam first pouted because he was punk as well. His lower lip and eyebrow were pierced and he used to draw tattoos on his arms with a marker. Then he asked him since it was pretty much a coincidence that it had to be a Dean and a Castiel. All Sam knew was that Castiel had probably three siblings. A bigger sister and two brothers but Sam was too young to remember more than that. "Sorry brother. Yeah just like that, crazy huh? And how much more siblings do you have here?" Dean asked and faced Balthazar. "At this school only our bigger sister, Anna and at home we've got two baby twins." He grinned. "Weird." Dean murmured. "I'm going to leave you alone now." Sam told and left with Gabriel.

 

*******************************************************************************

 

Now that Sam mentioned it, Dean thought about it more and more. It had to be a coincidence. Never in life it would be his Castiel. If he could only remember the name of his sister and brothers. But his memory was just too bad. Well it had been about ten years since they left their home for the first time. Dean remembered the day, he had to tell Castiel that he had to leave as if it was yesterday.

_"Hey Cassie, can I tell you something?" Dean asked while shoving some sand to the side. "If you race me to the swings!" Castiel smiled happily. "Fine." Dean smiled a little. It made him happy to spend time with his best friend but now that he knew he had to leave, all he felt was sadness. "Three, two, one, go!" Castiel counted down and started running. Immediately Dean chased him until they reached the swings. Cas was first though. "Winner!" He yelled happily and sat down onto the swing. "So what did you want to tell me?" The black haired boy asked. "My dad said we have to leave. He got a new job and we can't stay here any longer." Dean's head faced the ground. "What? But you are my best friend! You can't leave me." All of Castiel's happiness went to sadness. "I know. I don't want to leave you." Dean now faced his friends with tears in his eyes. "I can ask my mother for a super long sleepover until your parents come back!" Castiel suggested hopefully. "That doesn't work out, Cassie." A tear escaped his eyes. "Dean, we have to get going!" They heard Dean's father yell from the other side of the playground. "Now?" Castiel whimpered. "I guess so." Dean couldn't help but start crying. He fell right into the arms of his best friend and they hugged each other until Dean's Dad ripped them apart and just left with him, leaving his best friend Cas crying on the playground._

Maybe that was one of the reasons Dean hated his father that much. "Dean are you alive?" Charlie snapped her fingers in front of Dean's face. He glanced at her. "Uhm yeah, was just a little caught up in thoughts." He explained and shrugged. "We have to get going. Biology was moved to this period and P.E. was moved to second period." Charlie explained. And Dean thought he wouldn't have to bother with that subject for now.


	3. Familiar names, familiar faces

When Charlie and Dean entered the room it was pretty much empty. "Where is everyone?" Dean asked. "Probably still outside. I'm afraid you've got to sit next to Castiel since it's like the only seat left and that teacher doesn't like students sitting alone at all. Don't ask me why." She explained. "I'll just wait here." Dean leaned against a wall and waited while the room was filling. Great that he also had to spend his biology class with Castiel. Hopefully he didn't have to sit next to him. When the teacher entered the room, Dean walked over to him asking where to sit. "Sit down next to C-... Charlie since it seems like Hannah moved to Castiel." The teacher said clearly annoyed. But Dean absolutely didn't have a problem with sitting with Charlie. "Your lucky day then." Charlie giggled when Dean sat down. "Somehow." He smiled and then faced Cas. Hannah was sitting on his lap and they were almost eating each other. Gross. Sure this was biology but that was not the biology Dean wanted to see. At least not with them. "Castiel and Hannah please stop your move of propagation." The teacher interrupted them before he started the lesson. "Speaking of propagation. Since you're all getting older and probably plan on getting a family someday, we're going to have an experiment for two weeks. I'll put up teams which will have to take care of a baby. Our school got realistic dolls sponsored. Each pair is getting one. Yes this experiment is odd but it makes you find out if you're adult enough to take responsibilities. It should show you how hard life can be. And since we've got some different sexualities, I will mix up people. Boys will work together, girls will work together and boys and girls will work together. Understand?" The teacher asked. Everyone just nodded. Great. First day of school and he already have to make a stupid ass experiment with someone he probably didn't even know. The teacher formed teams until there were only a few students left. Including Dean, Charlie, Castiel, Hannah and four other students. "Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester." The teacher announced. "What?!" Dean and Cas both said at the same time. This wasn't really happening. But wait a second, Novak? Wasn't that his Cas' last name? This must be a mistake or a huge coincidence. Never in life this was his Castiel. "Don't protest get your baby, give it a name and talk about who takes care when and where." The teacher still was pretty annoyed. Dean glanced at Castiel. This couldn't be happening.  
He rolled his eyes but got up to get one of these baby dolls and walked over to Castiel. Since Hannah was teamed up with Charlie, she had been gone from that place. "It's going to be a girl and we name her Claire, I don't care what you say." Castiel told crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Whatever you say." Dean sighed and silence hit them. "You'll keep her one week, the other week I'll take her." Dean suggested cause they still had to figure that out. "And you will look out for her if I got football training." He added. "Why do I have to do that?" Castiel hissed. "Cause you're his dad?!" Dean rolled his eyes. "You're as well!" Cas still hissed. Silence hit them again. "Look out for that thing, I'll get you after school." Cas told before he got up when the bell rang. Great now Dean had to look out for this doll alone. He really started to hate this Castiel guy.  
  
The day has gone by pretty fast. Dean had a few other classes with Castiel but they didn't share a word with each other. Only reached the baby from person to person. Dean nearly forgot that Cas wanted to meet him after school. That's when he got pushed against a wall. "Where you think you're going, Winchester?!" Castiel hissed pressing him against the wall. "Easy there. Don't want Claire to end up like you huh?" Dean grinned provocative. "Let's get to your house." Cas told and let go off him. "Gotta wait for my brother though." Dean said when started walking up to his impala. "As long as he hurries. I don't got time all day." He groaned. "Whatever." Dean murmured and put the baby in the back of his baby. Sam joined Cas and Dean with his probably new friend, that was apparently Castiel's brother. "Who's this?" Sam asked and pointed at Castiel. "Castiel. The guy I told you about." Dean introduced him. "Oh, why is he with you?" Sam asked sceptically. "We have this biology experiment and we wanted to talk about it at home." Dean then faced Gabriel who was only grinning. "Well you can drive my brother home then, when you're already on it." Castiel told and wanted to get into the passenger seat but Dean stopped him. "That's Sammy's seat. And you're not my boss you can't tell me what to do." Dean nearly hissed. "It's fine Dean, I will get into the back with Gabriel." Sam smiled and both of the kids were in the impala before Dean could say a thing. Castiel only grinned and sat down. "Great." Dean murmured and got into the car as well. Dean decided that he would take Gabriel to his house though and Cas could get home with him on his own.

  
"That's not my house." Castiel said when Dean parked in front of his house. "Well looks like Gabriel is spending time with my brother and gets home with you then." Dean only put on a fake grin and got out of the car. "You take Claire." He said and waited for everyone to get out of the car. "Claire?" Gabriel asked. His tone was serious. "Yes." Cas answered numbly not showing any emotion. Whatever was going on with them. Dean locked his Impala and got into the house. No one was home yet. He didn't expect his father to be home anyways. "Follow me." Dean ordered walking up to his room where he made some space for the doll.

 

********************************************************************************************************************************

 

Castiel could only groan because of Dean. He was probably the most annoying person on earth. Plus he shared the same name as his childhood best friend. Even the last name was similar if not even the same. They could never be friends. Also Cas was a punk and Dean was a whatever. Castiel grabbed Claire and followed Dean to his room. When he entered he took a look around. Wasn't really decorated. He put Claire down onto the place, Dean just made room for. Cas kept scanning the room and found some pictures on his nightstand. He walked over and picked one up.  
This picture looked very familiar to Cas. He looked at it closer. He knew this picture from somewhere. Castiel took out his purse and opened it looking at the picture of him and his old best friend. It was the same picture. This was HIS Dean? He turned around to face Dean with a shocked expression. "Dean?" Cas' voice was shaky. Dean turned to face Castiel. "My Dean?" His voice went quieter. Dean's eyes went from Cas' face to the pictures he was holding in his hands. "Cas?" He whispered and his mouth was wide open. Cas let his purse and the frame fall and stormed towards Dean. He pulled him into a tight hug. Dean also wrapped his arms tight around Cas. He could feel tears building up in his eyes. He couldn't believe this. This couldn't be. He was gone for ten years and now he is back? Then Cas pushed Dean away. "You just left me. You left me, barely saying goodbye. You could've at least call me or anything." Tears filled Castiel's eyes. "I'm s-sorry.. It was harder than you think.. Our father didn't give us an option. We've moved at least 5 times this year. We've moved so much and now we're staying here cause Bobby made my Dad." Dean's eyes were glassy. "How should I know you're not going to leave me again? Do you even think we can start over like this? Do you know what I went through after you left?" Castiel just let the tears roll down. He didn't care about his image. His childhood best friend was standing in front of him after just leaving. "I can't imagine. No, Castiel. I can't. It would be weird just starting where we are left of as if nothing has happened. And I promise that I won't leave again. I promise." Dean replied. A tear has also escaped his eyes. "I had to go to a therapist cause I couldn't handle it. It was the worst time of my life. I needed my best friend but he was gone." Castiel whispered. "I'm sorry. I know nothing can make up for that." Dean explained and just then a women came in. That must've been Mary. Both, Cas and Dean wiped their tears away and acted tough again. "Oh didn't know you also had a visitor." She smiled when she faced Castiel. "He came o-over for our biology experiment." Dean explained. "Then I won't bother you-" She started but Dean interrupted her. "Mom, that's Castiel." Dean's voice got shaky. Mary looked concentrated at Cas but then her mouth formed to a smile. "Castiel, it's really good to see you. Why don't you two get down and we catch up on some things." Mary suggested. "Why not?" Dean's voice was still shaky and he faced Cas.


	4. Catching up

Dean couldn't believe what just happened. He knew it couldn't be a coincidence. Before they left, he picked up Cas' purse and gave it back to him. Together with Mary they walked downstairs and sat down at the dining table. "Do you want to drink something, Castiel?" Mom asked politely. "No thank you, Mrs. Winchester." He smiled awkwardly. "Call me Mary." She smiled at him, sitting down next to us. Dean's eyes scanned Castiel. He tried to figure him out. He wanted to figure out what has been going on in his mind. "What's wrong?" Cas asked and ripped Dean out of his stare. "You're just so.. so different." Dean explained which caused Cas to smirk. "Should I be sitting in front of you with the clothes of a 7 year old? We're teenagers Dean, sure I changed." His smirk now formed to a soft smile. A sigh escaped Dean's lips. It was weird having Cas around you. It was weird knowing that this was him. Dean felt a little downcast but nodded. "I know. I'm sorry." Dean faced his hand he rested on the table. "Hey, light up the mood. There's no reason to be sad." Mary tried to lighten the mood up. That's what Dean loved about his mother. She always tried to do the best out of bad situations. "How have you been Castiel? Are you in love? How is your family?" Mary now asked him. At least she knew how to open up conversations.  
"Despite being in therapy for a few years, I've been good. School is going well so far and there is nothing big I could complain about. 8 months ago my baby twins were born. Besides that Balthazar, Anna and Gabriel are fine. Mom and Dad are currently on a business trip and our neighbour is watching out for the baby twins when we're at school. But besides that we're doing fine. Since there are at least three adult like people in our household we can manage everything. And I've got a girlfriend called Hannah. We've been together for four months now. What about you, Dean?" Castiel looked straight at Dean. He had this thing in his glance that Dean couldn't describe. Did Cas have to ask him that? Dean knew he couldn't just tell Cas he was gay. He would probably hate him and that was not what Dean needed right now. He just got his old best friend back and he didn't want to lose him again.  
"As you might now, we just moved here so I haven't had any social contact yet except from school. Besides that I also don't have a long distance relationship, in case you're wondering. There wasn't someone special in sight yet." Dean explained staring right into Castiel's ocean blue eyes. To Dean it seemed like they were lighter earlier today. "And since Dean doesn't have a huge amount of people that would fit, it's harder for him to find someone." Dean knew exactly what his mother was going to say and he prayed she wouldn't. "What do you mean?" Castiel now faced Mary. Dean could tell he was holding back a grin. "He likes guys. And finding someone who has the same sexuality isn't that easy, huh Dean?" Mary smiled at Dean. At this moment he wished he could disappear. "Thanks mom." Dean almost hissed and ran up to his room. He didn't want to face Castiel right now. "Dean!" He hear his mother yell after him.

  
Dean sat down onto his bed and rested his head in his hands. Everything he wanted, was to disappear. A quiet know came from the door and it opened afterwards. It was his mother. Castiel probably would've just walked in right away. She sat down next to him and put her arm around Dean. "I'm sorry, sweetie." She said and her voice was filled with worry. "I didn't know you didn't want to tell him." She explained. "It's fine mom. Can't rewind time and change it anyways. I just didn't want to tell him cause I'm afraid I'd lose him. I'm afraid he would hate me. I just got Cas back and what if he's homophobic? What if he will tell everyone in school and everyone hates me." Dean sobbed.  
"He is your best friend Dean. If he hates you for your sexuality, he is seriously stupid. What happened to my non-caring Dean?" Mary asked.  
"I don't even know what we are! Mom. I just met him the first time after ten years. He was in therapy because of _**me**_ , Mom. I didn't even write him letters I didn't even contact him in any way. I wish I did better, I wish I would be a better friend but I suck as a friend and now he has all the reasons to hate me. It's just the thing that we're staying here. We aren't here for only four weeks or something. It's important what I'm doing with my life here." Now Dean faced his mother with tears running down his face. Dean couldn't remember the last time he really cried. It has been a long time ago. Probably when John came home being drunk and hit his mother, his brother and him. They all called it an accident but Dean never believed in that. That night he heard his mother cry and comfort his little brother. It broke him into pieces. That was a year ago. And now Castiel is back in his life and he is on an emotional rollercoaster. Mary gently pressed her thumbs onto Dean's cheeks and wiped away his tears. "Don't cry. You're strong. Everything will be going to be okay. I promise." She smiled and kissed Dean's forehead. Dean only nodded and tried to calm down. His mother mostly knew what to say when he was feeling down and he really loved her for that. She was always there when he needed her. He was glad he had his mother.  
"I'll leave you alone now. Come back down any time you want." She gives him a warm smile and leaves his room. Dean laid down onto his bed and closed his eyes to relax. Just a few moments later someone walked in again. It had to be Castiel. He felt the weigh change when someone sat onto his bed. Dean opened his eyes to see Cas sitting there, smiling at him. He didn't want to be sort of unfriendly so Dean sat up. "Do you really think I would hate you for being gay?" Cas smiled. It was a new expression. It was a lovely smile. Dean faced the ground cause he couldn't just look at Castiel. "Sort of." Dean admitted. He then felt a hand on his shoulder.  
"I'd never hate you for that. It would be stupid. I'm bisexual." Castiel explained. Relief filled Dean's body and he breathed out loudly. "And you don't have to worry about your sexuality in school. Well mostly. Being a jock and gay could get hard though. But there are a few people at school being homosexual or bisexual or anything else. Normally people let people live there." Castiel tried to sound as convincing as he could but always failed again. "Doesn't sound that good I think?" Dean now finally managed to look at Cas.  
"You will find out soon. And to our relationship. I think being at least friend would be the fairest. I don't know if I'm ready for the best friend step yet cause damn, I don't even know you it has been ten years but who knows, only time can tell." Cas smiled. "Thank you." Dean whispered. He didn't know what else to say. Everything went better than he expected it to be and it was great. A tight hug ripped him out of his short thoughts. With a smile on his face he returned Cas' hug and it felt great. "Let's go to your mother again." Castiel suggested and pulled Dean up, while getting up himself.  
They were talking and laughing as if they weren't separated for such a long time. Everything went well until the main door opened.  
"I'm home."The sound of John's voice rung out. He came straight into the dining room and gave Mary a kiss. "Who's this?" He asked sceptically nodding towards Castiel.  
"That's Castiel." Dean tried to sound as nice as he could.  
"Castiel?" John raised his eyebrow. For sure he didn't remember him.  
"My childhood best friend you just ripped me apart from." Dean couldn't hold it back anymore and hissed at his father.  
"Ah, that kid. Sad what kids these days turn out." He pointed out clearly attacking him being a punk. John also never liked that Sam pierced his face. In his mind he should be a nice young boy, interested in all kind of economy, politics and everything to get a great job when he was grown up. "Anyways I don't have any time for bothering with you, Dean. I'm exhausted and I'll take a shower and head to bed. You know what happens when anyone of you wakes me up." Were John's last words before he left the room. Castiel raised his eyebrow and gave Dean a questioning glance. "She just doesn't leave him, I gotta live with him." Dean exclaimed obviously trying to make his father hear him. "I told you a lot of times that I love your dad and couldn't just leave him." Mary explained rubbing Dean's shoulder.  
"Whatever." Dean sighed and looked at Castiel who just decided to keep quiet. Mary decided to prepare dinner so Castiel and Dean were left talking and catching up about things.  
"Anna called, she needs us at home." Gabriel said when he and Sam entered the room. Both, Cas and Dean faced them. "Alright." Cas only replied.  
"I'll drive you home." Dean stood up even before Cas. He noticed Sam raising his eyebrow cause clearly Dean didn't seem that polite before. "You don't have to." Castiel also got up.  
"I want to." Was the last thing Dean said before he took his keys and walked straight to the impala, driving them home.


	5. Drama and more drama

"I'll go after him." Mary told and followed Dean, after he stormed out of the room. So Dean was gay. That was quite a new thing to react to but Castiel didn't mind at all. He decided to follow Mary to Dean's room and sort of spied them. Did Dean really think Cas would hate him for being gay? It sort of hurt Cas to know he thought like that. But he knew he was going to talk to Cas about it.   
When Mary got out of Dean's room, she saw Cas standing there. "Did you listen to us?" She whispered. Cas only shrugged and nodded with a little smile. "Don't go in just now, give him a little time." She said before going down again.  
It was pretty weird to see John after everything again. Castiel never really liked him. Neither did Dean, as it seemed. Castiel was kind of surprised that Dean wanted to drive the home even though he didn't seem like that earlier today. "I'll just join Gabriel on the backseat." Castiel rubbed his neck while following Dean to his impala. "I don't mind having you in the front." Dean only said before getting into the driver seat. Castiel and Gabriel exchanged some glances before Castiel joined Dean on the passenger seat and Gabriel sat down on the backseat. "Has your father been like that for a long time?" Castiel asked, filling the silence that built up while Dean drove them home.  
"For a few years he had been like that. It got worse a year ago though. He doesn't like that Sam is a punk and he doesn't like that Sammy and I are you know what. If it wasn't uncle bobby we would be on the road to another city by now." Dean explained. "I never liked your father. And he seems like a total jerk now." Castiel just said and turned his head towards the window and watched the scenery go by. "Wait, you both know each other?" Gabriel asked from the back. Castiel turned around and faced his little brother. "I will tell you later. Has Anna already picked up the twins?" He asked. "No, she said she got a date and Balthazar isn't home and our neighbour said that they would have to leave soon." Gabriel explained.  
"A date?!" Castiel felt anger filling his body. He was nearly never able to take Hannah out for a date cause Anna would've kept on complaining.   
"Yeah." Gabriel shrugged. The rest of the ride was quite. Nobody said a thing. "So we're here." Dean stated when he parked in front of the Novak's house. "Want to pic up the twins with me? You can leave afterwards." Castiel asked while getting out of his car. "Uhm sure." Dean shrugged and locked his Impala before walking over to Castiel. "Tell Anna I'll be right there and she will get to hear some things." Castiel ordered his little brother who just nodded and walked in.   
"But you're staying here now, right?" Cas asked Dean while walking to his neighbours house.  
"If everything goes as planned and John doesn't rebel." Dean smiled a little. He didn't even call his father dad. Their relationship must really suck.   
"I hope he doesn't." Castiel admitted shyly and rang the door bell. "Same here." Dean gently patted his back and waited for the door to open. "Oh Castiel, I'm glad you're there! Lucifer and Michael have been such nice kids like always. But Betty had an accident and we have to get to the hospital now! I will call you later to tell you if we are able to watch out for them tomorrow." She said handing Cas the bag and the babies. "But we can't leave them at home!" Castiel's voice turned concerned. "I'm sorry Castiel, you will have to think about someone else." The woman said and closed the door. "Damn." Cas whispered while walking over to his house.  
"You know, I could ask my mother. I'm sure she would love to watch out for two little kids again." Dean suggested smiling.   
"You would do that?" Castiel now was less concerned. Dean only nodded.   
"Wait, I'll bring the boys in and give you my number then. Tell me the answer and I'll tell you what our neighbour said." Cas smiled, again Dean only nodded. So Cas made his way into the house and sat down his baby brother. "Anna! Get down here and take care of your brothers, I'll be right back!" He yelled through the house and walked out to give Dean his number. He took his phone and typed in the numbers and his name. "Text me then." Cas smiled while handing Dean's phone back.   
"Is this Dean? That Dean?" They suddenly heard his sisters voice from behind. "Why would you care?" Castiel turned around to face his sister who was already coming closer. How did she even knew it was him if not even Castiel could tell it was him. Well Anna always had this quite good sense of people. Anna stormed towards Dean and gripped him by the corner of his leather jacket. "You ruined my brothers childhood and life! How dare you just come back like that and act like nothing happened?! You should be ashamed to even talk to him!" Anna yelled at Dean who was pretty much paralyzed by how Anna reacted. When Castiel realized what was happening, he pulled her away from Dean. "You don't know anything, Anna. Keep your mouth shut and go back in. We will have to talk. Now." Cas demanded. Sometimes it felt like he was the oldest brother. Probably because he cared about everything adults normally do. Anna just sighed and walked back into the house.  
"I'm sorry. She's trying to act like the big one but she-" Castiel was interrupted by Dean.  
"No it's fine. She's right. I just disappear and now I'm back here like nothing happened. It's alright Cas." Dean faced the ground. A sigh escaped Cas' mouth. He placed his index finger onto Dean's chin raising it up softly so he would face him again. "Things have happened. We can't change the past and it wasn't your fault you're not the one to blame." Cas explained with a soft voice. Both of them just stared at each other not saying anything until Castiel pulled in Dean for a hug. "Get home save and look out for Claire." Castiel smiled before walking into the house.

Anna brought the babies to bed already and was waiting for Castiel in the living room. Balthazar and Gabriel were in the kitchen cooking dinner. "What do you even think is giving you the right to just go on a date? You know how many times I had to stay home. How many times I couldn't take Hannah out for a date? How many parties I had to leave behind because you always found something so I had to stay? Sometimes I feel like I'm the older one here. You can't take any responsibility for anything. And what was that with Dean outside?! He told me everything. He told me how his father made him leave. He had no choice he was a child! Can you imagine living a life travelling around every two months. Going to a different school every two months? It's their start over. Their uncle made his father stay. If it wasn't for their uncle he would be gone already and believe me, it doesn't seem like they're leaving again." Castiel lectured his sister.   
"Well I'm a girl I have priorities and going out on a date is something I deserve! I don't care what you had to leave behind. You told our parents you'd take care of them and so you do! I can't take any responsibility? Do you even know how much I've done for you, when that Dean kid left you? How I stayed awake with you until you fell asleep while you cried! I don't care that he's back and having a new start here! Sooner or later he's going to hurt and leave you again! Believe me! You can never trust people like these. There is a reason he never talked to you for all of those years!" Tears filled Anna's eyes but Castiel didn't care for now.   
"Hannah is also a girl and she deserves to be taken out by her boyfriend plus just cause you're a girl it doesn't mean you've got more rights than I do. The babies are our family and you also have to take care of them! I don't care what you're doing tonight but you're not going onto a date. End of this conversation, I don't want to hear a single thing of you." Castiel hissed and Anna stormed up to her room crying.   
With a sigh Cas sat down onto the huge black couch. He rested his head in his hands and took a deep breath. "That Dean kiddo is your Dean?" Balthazar now asked standing in the door frame between living room and kitchen. "Yeah.. Such a weird coincidence. But I'm glad he's back. And I don't care what you're going to say about this just leave him." Castiel told unpowered. "No it's fine. I'm not going to say anything against him. He's a nice guy. I'm happy for you but I just hope he's not going to hurt you again." Balthazar had this kind of concern in his voice. Castiel nodded. "I'll be in my room, call me when dinner is ready. And if her date appears, tell him to leave." Castiel said before walking into his room.

  
  
*******************************************************************************

 

While driving home, the words of Anna stormed through Dean's head. She was right after all. But what did she know? She knew nothing. Dean parked his Impala in front of their new house and walked in. Sam, Mary and John were sitting at the dining table already. This would cause some drama. He took of his shoes and hung up his jacket. Then he walked into the dining room sitting down next to Sam and Mary. "Why are you late." The voice of his father echoed through his ears. "Cause I'm social and brought my friend and his brother home." Dean told with a monotone voice. "You can go to your room. You're not getting to eat tonight." His father demanded. Dean knew there was no sense in speaking against it and he would anyways go back down to ask his mother if he'd watch out for the twins. He could get something to eat then. So Dean stood up again and wanted to go upstairs just as his father spread his leg so Dean tripped and fell. Dean knew Mary wanted to say something, he felt it, but she couldn't he would've let his anger out on her. "You can't even watch out." John hissed. Dean just decided to keep quiet and walked upstairs and went into his room.  
Quite some time has passed by until he heard the loud footsteps of his father walking into the bedroom of him and Mary. So Dean sneaked out and walked downstairs.   
"Mom?" He asked, while she was cleaning the dishes. "Sweetie, are you okay?" She looked at him with a worried glance. "I'm fine. I've got a question. Could you watch out for Castiel's baby twins tomorrow? The neighbours daughter, I guess, had an accident and they're not sure if they can manage to look out for his brothers when they're in school." Dean asked his mother and hoped for her to say yes. "John will leave early tomorrow so I guess I will be able to. Better said I'd love to." She smiled. "And I've left something for you in the fridge. Can't let you go to bed with an empty stomach." She kissed Dean's forehead before concentrating on washing the dishes again. Dean really loved his mother. He walked over to the fridge and took out the sandwich and a pie his mother put back for him. "Thanks mom." He whispered and kissed her cheek before going back into his room. His mothers sandwiches were by far the best in the world. Also her pie was really great! Dean loved the cooking of his mother in general. It was always delicious, you could never mention a negative thing about her food.   
A quiet knock ripped Dean out of his thoughts. Short after his little brother entered. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly since you could never know what your father heard and what he didn't hear. "I'm alright. Don't worry." Dean smiled, pulling his brother into his arms. "Was this THE Castiel?" Sam then asked him looking straight at his brother. "Yes, it is." Dean caught himself smiling a little while picking the picture up, that fell out of Castiel's hand when he noticed it was actually him. "This is crazy." Sam smiled. Dean only nodded in agreement. Then suddenly baby crying echoed to the room. _Claire. Shit._ "What's that?" Sam asked confused. "Hide underneath my bed. Now. Don't come out till Dad's gone." Dean ordered and his brother did as he said. Dean knew that his father would've heard this. He gently took Claire onto his arms and tried to calm her down. Then it happened. John stormed in. "What is this?!" He yelled at Dean. "It's my biology project." Dean explained looking at his father. "Now it was your project. Your partner could've kept that!" John still yelled and moved towards Dean, taking away the doll and smashed it against a wall. Great. How should he explain this to Cas? "You're too stupid to get anything right." John yelled. His face even closer to Dean's than before. Everything else that was able to hear, was the sound of skin hitting skin. Again, John slapped Dean. For nothing. Then he left in anger. A sigh escaped Dean's lips and Sam crawled out rushing to Dean. He hugged his brother tight. It was everything he needed at the moment. He felt empty. Out of nothing. That was one of the things his father's madness made Dean. All he now needed was someone to hold him. Luckily Sam was there.  
  
(bold Dean, italic Cas)  
  
**Mom said she'll watch out for ya brothers -** 11:03PM  
  
_Great. My neighbours won't make it tomorrow. Thanks. -_ 11:05PM  
  
**I gotta tell you something. But tomorrow. Be here on time. Cya -** 11:10PM

_Everything alright? -_ 11:12PM

_Dean? -_ 11:20PM _  
_

_Fine, let's talk tomorrow. -_ 11:38PM


	6. Not my fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to read some feedback so don't be shy and type in something in the comments! <3

"Dean don't you have to go to school today?" Mary ripped Dean out of his sleep. Fast Dean sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?" He asked his mother. "Just ten minutes after your alarm. Don't worry." Mary smiled at Dean and kissed his forehead. "Breakfast is ready." She smiled before she left the room. Seemed like Dean missed his alarm but luckily he had his mother.  
The night was the worst for Dean. His head was filled with many thoughts that left him sleepless. He felt extremely numb and at the same time hurt. Dean wanted to text Castiel back, but he didn't want to bother him and he didn't want to talk about his problems the same day he found Castiel again.  
His wardrobe didn't leave him much choice on what to wear cause he only had like five shirts and two pair of pants. A white shirt, showing his muscles and his jeans it would be for today. He took his clothes and walked into the bathroom. Dean took a speed shower and got dressed afterwards. Then he styled his hair and inspected his face in the mirror, to see if there was anything to see of his father's punch last night. Lucky there was nothing to see.

So When Dean was ready he walked downstairs to see his mother and Sam already eating breakfast. John was nowhere to be seen. "He's gone." Mary told as if she read Dean's thoughts. "Alright." He only nodded and sat down in front of Sam. Slowly he ate his breakfast until the door bell rang. He almost forgot that Castiel was bringing the twins over. "I'll open the door." Dean instantly stood up, making Mary sit down again. He walked up to the door and opened it, facing a Castiel with a two seat buggy in front of him. "I'll help you." Dean told and picked up one side of the buggy to get it into the house. After Castiel entered, he closed the door. "Would you take Luci?" Cas asked while taking out one of the twins. Good, cause Dean did not know who Luci was. While picking up the other twin he nodded and walked into the kitchen. "Hello Mrs. Winchester." Castiel greeted Mary politely. "Didn't we say, that you can call me Mary?" She smiled walking over to Dean and Cas. "Aw look at you cute little boys." A wide smile formed on his mother's face. It has been a long time since Dean actually saw Mary smiling like that. "Is there anything I have to take care of while looking out for them?" She asked while, she took the baby that was on Dean's arm. "No, they're actually really nice, when they're not at home. This little guy here is Michael and the one you're holding is Lucifer but you can call him Luci." Castiel explained. "Sammy will you take Michael? I need to talk to Cas." Dean asked while looking at his little brother who had just finished eating. "Yeah." He replied. Sam knew what Dean had to tell him. So Sam took Michael out of Cas' arms and Dean showed Cas to follow him.  
He closed the door after Castiel entered cause he didn't want his mother to hear. "What's wrong Dean? Are you okay?" Castiel voice was full of concern.

"Don't freak out please. Claire is ... dead." Dean's head faced the ground.

"Claire is what?!" Suddenly there was anger in Castiel's voice and he picked Dean by his shirt pushing and pressing him against a wall. "What the hell did you do?! Do you know what this means?!" Cas nearly yelled.

"It wasn't my f-fault.. I swear.." Dean stuttered. He couldn't get an explanation out. Castiel's mad side influenced him way too much.

"Whose fault is it then?! You had to take care of her!" Now Castiel yelled and in the next moment Sam entered Dean's room.

"Castiel it really wasn't Dean's fault. Claire started crying, like babies do and our father stormed in. He got really angry and smashed her against the wall and... and nothing. But it really wasn't Dean's fault." Sam was calm after all. It was probably the best decision anyways. Yelling at Cas wouldn't have made things better. Slowly Cas let go off Dean and looked straight into his eyes. "Did he hurt you?" His voice was honest. As if he knew what was going on. "What? Uh.. no." Dean tried to play it cool. It didn't really seem as if Cas believed him but he didn't keep on asking him.

"Let's go to school. I'll drive us." Dean said and took his backpack where he put Claire and his other stuff in.  
  


******************************************************************  
  


Sam already knew where their conversation would be going. He knew Castiel was going to rage cause Gabriel told him the story of why he wanted the doll to be called Claire and it was nearly heartbreaking. Luckily he convinced Castiel that it really wasn't Dean's fault but he nearly told him that his father punched him.  
Together they walked downstairs. Sam and Dean gave Mary a kiss on her cheek and Cas said goodbye to his little brothers.  
  
"Is Gabriel in school already?" Sam asked, destroying the silence that filled Dean's impala. "He should be." Castiel answered. Luckily it didn't take that long anymore to school and soon after Dean parked the impala. He told Sam to be there when school was over and to bring Gabriel with him.  
So Sam made his way over the campus into his classroom. Luckily Gabriel was already sitting there. "Hey." Sam smiled while getting onto his seat. "Heya Samsquatch." Gabriel grinned widely while chewing some candy. Sam couldn't remember a time when he didn't eat candy except in class. Sam only rolled his eyes. "You won't believe what happened." He then reported.

"Waddup?" Gabriel swallowed his candy and then took his bottle of water to drink something.

"Our Dad broke Claire last night." Sam told. With that Gabriel almost spit out his water.

"Does Cassie know?" He asked immediately. Sam only nodded as an answer. "It didn't go well, did it?" Gabriel continued.

"Well let's say it would've gotten worst if I didn't step in." Sam spoke and then the teacher started the class.  
The day has gone by pretty good. Lilith didn't say anything to Sam, what was also good. And with Gabriel by his side, he knew it could only get better.  
  


*******************************************************************  
  


"We're both going to our teacher now and tell him about it, don't you dare hide away from that." Castiel ordered pulling Dean towards the biology room, where their teacher was already preparing stuff for his next class. Castiel gently knocked at the door and entered. "Excuse us sir. We've got a problem." Castiel spoke. Mr. Graham turned to face both of them. "Talk." He said and Castiel already started feeling uncomfortable. "Our doll broke by an accident and we-" Dean pulled out the doll but Castiel was interrupted while talking.

"You killed the baby and no you're not getting another chance you're getting an F. Congratulations on not making it even a day." Mr. Graham took away the doll and Castiel was ready to leave but Dean obviously wasn't.

"Listen. I messed this up but he should at least get another chance. He has two baby brothers and he cares about them more than anything. He really can take responsibility for things like this. It was my fault that the doll broke, it's okay if I don't get another chance but please let him try." Dean almost begged the teacher. It was quite cute. "Fine. Mr. Novak, you get the task to film a day in your life, taking care of your little brothers. I will grade this. Next Monday you have to present it. Winchester, for you it's an F. Now if you'd excuse me I got work to do." Mr. Graham said and both, Cas and Dean left. "Thank you, Dean." Castiel hugged him when they left the room. "But I don't know how I should do this. My siblings probably won't help out." Cas sighed. "Don't worry about it. I will help you." Dean gave him a warm smile and they walked to their next lesson they also had together. Maths. "Cas? Why was it so important for you to name the baby Claire though?" Dean asked.

Right in the moment Castiel stopped walking and just stared forward. Everything went through his mind. "We'll have to skip class for that." Was the only thing Cas said before he left the school building.

 


	7. Time for a project

Dean stood there not moving, while Castiel already left the building. It took him a little to realise that he should follow Cas. Fresh air hit Dean's face when he went outside. It was autumn already and it began getting colder. While getting used to the temperature, he kept an eye out for Cas, since he lost the sight of him because he stood in the hallway way to long. Dean felt a hand gripping his shoulder and shock filled his body. He thought he got caught skipping classes but when he turned around, he saw Castiel. "Follow me." He told and gripped Dean's wrist walking towards a little shed, not even letting Dean the opportunity not to follow Cas.  
He opened the door and invited Dean in. After Cas entered, he closed the door and sat down. This seemed to be the shed of the caretaker of this school. Cas sat down on the only chair in this room so Dean figured he'd just sit on the ground. "So?" Dean asked. He knew he shouldn't push Castiel but he really wanted to know what he hid behind these walls.

"A few years after you left there was this girl that was new in our school. Her name was Claire. We've soon become good friends. Best friends actually. There was actually nothing we didn't do together. We helped each other out a lot. We both got really lucky that when we finished elementary school we went to the same middle school actually and started going to the same high school when I noticed she was dealing with depression. It was too late for me to notice. That one night I got a call from her parents.." Castiel stopped talking and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "They told me she committed suicide. This seemed so unreal to me. First I lost you, then I lost her. I thought I didn't deserve someone being close to me. When I went to her funeral, her parents gave me a letter. She wrote it and they wanted to give it to me in person. It said that she thanked me for those wonderful six years we've spent together. But not even spending time with me got her happy anymore. It got her worse actually cause I didn't notice. She said it's not my fault but I know well that it is my fault. She could've been alive right now. That's when I kind of rebelled. I got a strict background and my parents probably hate me for turning into a punk. But I decided I would do something to keep her remembered. I just never knew what. And when we got this project I thought it would be amazing. I wanted to make things better, actually take care of her. Better than I used to before." Castiel's voice died off at the end of his talk. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He probably didn't notice. Dean decided to stand up and walk over to his friend, hugging him. It took a while until he got hugged back but he did it.  
"Don't you dare give yourself the fault for that. I know it's hard, I know it's pressuring but it's not your fault. You know, noticing if something is wrong is really hard. it doesn't always work out. And yes sometimes it's too late. It's hard to say, but you can't save everyone. It's something my uncle Bobby thought me. I'm sorry for messing Claire up, though." Dean told and stopped hugging Cas but rested his hands on his shoulders, looking straight into his eyes. He gently wiped away Cas' tears but didn't break their eye contact. "It's not your fault, Castiel." Dean told, squeezing his shoulders a little.  
"Thank you Dean." Castiel sighed and shook his head, facing the ground. Silence filled the room. It wasn't an awkward silence actually but this silence gave Dean time to think.

When he was staring into Cas' ocean blue eyes, he had this strange feeling filling his stomach. He couldn't remember this feeling from anything except from one situation when he fell in love at another high school. When he met this guy that actually made Dean sure of his sexuality. But this couldn't be. He couldn't fall for his best friend. This was just wrong.

"Dean?" Castiel's soft voice ripped him out of his thoughts. "Everything alright?" He carefully asked. While being caught in his thoughts, Dean must've squeezed Castiel's shoulders a little harder.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Dean nodded and let go off Castiel's shoulders.

"We should get going. Or we're going to miss our next class." Castiel gave him a soft smile and stood up, helping Dean up afterwards, since he knelt down in front of Cas.

"Yeah. Let's get going." Dean answered still being a little caught off.

His next period was history. He didn't share that one with Castiel. Maybe that was better though. It was good having some time off of him. Even though they've only spent two days together. Almost two days. It felt like he knew so much about this boy he used to call his best friend but he knew there was way more hiding behind his walls. It like he was locked and Dean had to find a way to open it.

The whole week went quite relaxed for Dean. Since it was his first week, teachers weren't that hard on him. His test to get accepted into the football team would be next week. Every few days he spent the afternoon with Castiel. They caught up a lot about their past and spent really great days together.

Since Castiel had to create a short film for biology class, they decided to meet on Saturday. Actually they had a sleepover at Cas' so Dean could film him right from the moment he got up. So he recorded almost every step he took. Except from going to the toilet or something. The twins weren't easy that day but Castiel tried to do his best.  
It was a long and exhausting day but when the twins were brought to bed, Dean and Castiel finally relaxed. Even though Dean now had to work on the video. He turned on his laptop and moved all the files, so he could edit. It took him a few hours until he found the best scenes and cut them into a video. After that he put the video onto a flash drive and handed it towards Cas.

"I should probably head home now." Dean rubbed his neck. He noticed a little pout on Castiel's face when he spoke those words but Castiel wouldn't admit it.

"Can't you stay another night?" Castiel asked. His voice was soft, a little hopeful. As if it was the last time he would see Dean.

"I doubt it. Dad's probably back and I can't leave Mom and Sammy home alone with him. Sorry." Dean gave him a soft smile and packed his bag.

"Okay. But thanks for helping me out." Castiel was obviously not happy about Dean leaving. Even though his sister was more than happy. Cas brought Dean downstairs to the door to tell him goodbye. They hugged each other, like always and then Dean left.

Dean was actually happy that his father wasn't home. So he could enjoy his Sunday. Since he asked Sammy to do his homework, he didn't have anything to do. Mary was out with some old friends she had in Lawrence and Sam was going to meet Gabriel today, so Dean had the house for his own and could do whatever he wanted to. He probably only ate, watched TV and slept. Things he always did when he got a day off.  
It was 5PM when Sam left to meet Gabriel. Quite late but Dean didn't mind. He knew Sam could take care of himself. Mary texted him that she would be home really late so he shouldn't wait for her with dinner. Dean would've anyways waited for her. He would make dinner for his brother him and his mother and only Sam ate when he got home. Dean always waited for his mother to eat. He thought he owed her.  
Suddenly Dean's phone vibrated. It wasn't something usual cause normally Dean wouldn't text anyone. He rather talked to people. When he checked the message, he saw that it came from Castiel. Dean opened to see what his friend wanted. If something was wrong with the video maybe. But it was the complete opposite.

_Dean. Please don't call or message me again. Don't talk to me again. Just leave me alone._

\- 6:37 PM

This kid must've been joking. What kind of joke was that?

**What's the matter Cas?**

\- 6:38 PM

_Leave me alone Dean and delete my number.  
_

\- 6:38 PM

This was enough. Dean stood up and put on his boots and his leather jacket. He left a note in case Sam was coming home a little earlier and was wondering where his brother went. He got into his Impala and drove to Castiel's house. Dean pulled up into the parking lot and got out. Fast he walked towards the door and rang the bell. Behaving actually and not making any terror. A woman he hasn't seen yet opened it. That must've been his mother. "Hey, is Castiel at home?" Dean asked politely not letting her notice the anger filling in him. "Uhm yes. Who are you?" The woman asked. It must've been his mother. He kind of recognized her. "I'm a class mate. We've got a project together and forgot to give me his part of the presentation and told me I should pick it up." Dean lied. He figured speaking out that he's the one that left her son as a kid wouldn't be good. "Come in. He's upstairs in his room." She finally invited Dean in. As if he didn't know where Castiel was. He walked in and rushed upstairs so Anna or Balthazar wouldn't notice he was there. He stormed into Castiel's room and locked the door behind him.

"Dean?! What are you doing here?! I told you to leave me alone!" Castiel spoke in shock.

"You think some weird message saying I should leave you alone would make me actually leave you alone?!" Dean tried to keep his voice low and pulled the black haired guy up from his chair.

"You need to leave me alone Dean! Just accept my decision!" Castiel hissed at Dean.

Then suddenly Dean pushed Castiel against the wall, staring straight into his eyes.

"You can't just tell me to leave you alone over a stupid text message, without naming a reason, Novak." Dean's face was close to Castiel's. Way too close.


	8. Leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not even 24 hours since I've posted the last chapter but since I got two comments saying I should post another chapter soon, I got actually motivated and started writing! I've been sitting on this chapter for three hours and it's quite longer than the other parts.  
> I'd be glad if you leave some new comments, they're the key to the writers motivation!  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Castiel was quite disappointed when Dean said he was going to leave. But he couldn't force him to stay. Since Cas hasn't eaten in a while, he decided to grab something small. Just some left over's from their previous dinner. Anna went to bed already, Gabriel was upstairs and studied for a test and Balthazar went out with friends. So Cas was pretty much alone right now but he enjoyed the silence after this exhausting day. He took his plate and walked into his room. Since he rested a little while Dean edited the video, he didn't watch it yet but decided to do so now. He opened his laptop and opened the file. Castiel never realised how dorky he looked when someone was filming him. Well how should he. It was some great work though. Dean put in great scenes and the way he put them together were also really good. At this point Castiel was really glad that Dean helped him out. It probably wouldn't be that good when Castiel did the video on his own.   
After making the dishes and telling Gabriel to finally go to bed, he got ready himself and laid down in his bed. It was an exhausting but great day and he was glad he could spend it with Dean.  
  
Castiel woke up by sun shining right into his face. He groaned to himself a little and rubbed his eyes. Today he decided just to relax. Anna, Gabriel or Balthazar could take care of the twins today. Slowly he stood up heading straight for the shower. Tiredness filled his whole body and a cold shower would probably get him awake. After putting some sweatpants and a way too big shirt on, Castiel went downstairs to get some breakfast. Gabriel and Balthazar sat in the living room watching TV with the twins. "Cassie, great you're here now you can-" Balthazar started but Castiel knew very well where this was going so he interrupted him.  
"No I'm not going to watch out for them today. It's your turn now." Castiel groaned taking out a bowl, milk and cereals. Luckily Balthazar didn't say anything else. He knew how much Castiel actually had to do with them. Quietly he sat down at the dining table and ate his food. Every once in a while a laughter came from the living room and he just waited for his sister to come down and make a scene.   
Suddenly the main door opened. Was Anna gone? He didn't notice if yes. His head turned towards the hallway and then he saw his mother and father. Out of everyone he never expected them to come home. They were gone long enough and suddenly they came back. "We are home, children." The sound of his mother's voice echoed through the house. After a while he faced his brother who were also very surprised. "What all these noise down here?" The tired voice of his sister rung out.   
"Anna, darling. Why are you so sleepy?" Their mother asked and by then she realised what was actually going on.   
"Oh, I just feel kind of sick and didn't sleep well." Castiel could hear the huge lies in her voice and wanted to say something but he thought it was better if he just kept his mouth shut.   
After finishing his breakfast, Castiel went into his room again. He didn't want to spend any time with his parents. They leave them for months and come back acting like a happy family. Unfortunately he would now have to actually eat with his family together instead of on his own.   
  
"Get down for lunch! And Castiel, wear something normal!" The voice of his father echoed through the house. Cas only groaned by his order. Now he couldn't even relax on his free Sunday. He changed into some black skinny's and a white tee. That should be enough normal for them. Slowly he made his way downstairs and sat down at the dining table. Everyone was sitting there but still there was an awkward silence filling the room while eating. Years ago they used to talk and laugh while eating but this time has gone by long ago.   
"Mom, Dad, guess who is back." A mean grin suddenly formed on Anna's face. No she wasn't going to do this. Why would she do this?  
  
"I don't know. Who?" Their mother asked. Both of their parents were now facing Anna and Anna was facing Castiel, who gave her a death glare.   
  
"Dean Winchester." She answered not stopping to look at Castiel.  
  
"That Dean Winchester, who got our little boy into depression at this young age?" Their father now asked and Anna only nodded.  
  
"I wasn't depressed, Dad. I just couldn't handle it." Castiel threw in.  
  
"We know best, that you were depressed! And I don't want you to see or hang out with his kid! You will be punished if we notice you around him. Don't even say anything against it! We don't want you to have contact to someone like this!" His father said angrily.  
  
Castiel looked at his brothers in hope they would say something but they didn't. Great brothers he had there.   
"I'm not hungry." Castiel then said and just left. He knew he was going to get in trouble for that but that didn't matter to him for now.  
  
Gabriel told Cas that he was going to meet Sam today. Balthazar was working on school stuff and Anna was allowed to go on a date. If their parents would act the same way about Sam, when they knew that Gabriel was hanging out with him? But they didn't have a reason to be mad at Sam. They probably didn't even know him.  
Gabriel left a while ago. When seeing Sam, Castiel realised he would have to tell Dean to leave him alone. He didn't want to break the contact but he had to. Actually why should he? He rebelled once why not rebel another time? Sighing he took his phone and texted Dean. For sure Dean would reply and not just let it be. Well maybe he just accepted it when he didn't answer anymore.   
A short while later the door bell rang. It was probably Anna's date. Now he would be left alone with his twins, Balth and his parents. Great. Castiel just sat at his table and surfed through the internet. Then someone stormed into his room. He expected it to be his father after what happened at lunch. But when he turned around, he saw Dean who just locked the door behind. "Dean?! What are you doing here?! I told you to leave me alone!" Castiel spoke in shock.  
  
"You think some weird message saying I should leave you alone would make me actually leave you alone?!" Dean was about to yell but he kept quite. Though he gripped Castiel by his shirt and pulled him up.   
  
"You need to leave me alone Dean! Just accept my decision!" Castiel hissed at Dean. How did he even make it in here?  
  
Then suddenly Dean pushed Castiel against the wall, staring straight into his eyes. _Do not get weak for his eyes._ Castiel thought.  
"You can't just tell me to leave you alone over a stupid text message, without naming a reason, Novak." Dean's face was close to Castiel's. He could feel Dean's breath meeting his. Castiel couldn't get a single word out of his mouth. Suddenly Dean crashed his lips onto Cas'. To his own surprise he returned the kiss. It was angry, rough and it made both of them wanting more. Dean turned Cas around and walked over to his bed. Soon Castiel got pushed onto his bed and Dean crawled on top of him. But before it led to something more, Castiel realised what they were doing and pushed Dean off, accidently pushing him onto the ground.   
"I can't do this." Castiel shook his head and sat up clinging his arms around his legs.   
"This is wrong. I've got a girlfriend and I can't do this." Castiel didn't face Dean for once. Even though he felt the eyes of his friend resting on his body.   
"Leave Dean. Leave me alone. Just leave, please." Castiel nearly cried out. He didn't know why but this was just too much for him. Way too much. Luckily Dean just left. Castiel let his head drop onto his knees and tried to realise what just happened.

 

*************************

 

This did not go as Dean planned. He said goodbye to Castiel's parents and then left. Did he really just kiss him? And where the hell was this leading? Dean shook his head while getting into the impala. Lost to his thoughts he drove home. There was light burning inside of the house when Dean pulled up onto the parking lot. His legs just carried himself into the house even though he felt pretty numb. He closed the door behind himself and walked straight into the kitchen. "Everything okay?" He heard his brothers voice. "I'm fine." Dean simply replied and took a beer out of the fridge. He always did when he was stressed. Dean collapsed onto the couch and turned on the TV. The only thing he heard from his brother was a sigh and his footsteps. He was left alone again. Dean felt lonelier than he ever did. Did he lose Castiel? But more important, what did he do wrong? Except from kissing him.   
  
Dean nearly fell asleep when the main door opened and his mother entered the room. "Did you wait for me?" She softly asks while walking up towards him. "Yes." Dean tried to give her a soft smile but he knew it wouldn't be true so he just let it be.  
"What's wrong honey?" Mary asked concerned. She always noticed when something was wrong. And a 'I'm tired' excuse never counted.   
"I've made a huge mistake. Well one I don't know about but then I made another mistake." Dean explained putting his face into his hands.  
  
"What happened?" She inquired, sitting down next to him and putting her arm around him.  
  
"Castiel texted me that I should leave him alone, delete his number and just leave him alone. I don't know what I did, we didn't fight or anything. He just texted me this. Then I drove to his house and we... discussed and then I... I kissed him. It seemed like both of us enjoyed it but then he pushed me away telling me to leave again. I left but I don't know what I have done wrong... except from kissing him... Did I lose him?" Dean felt tears building up in his eyes.   
  
"Oh honey, did he not tell you anything? You need to ask him. Even if he told you to leave. Do you like him?" He could feel Mary's eyes on him.  
  
"What if he doesn't want to talk? And yes, he is my friend.." Dean murmured.  
  
"He will talk. You just should not rush it. If he tells you to leave, he at least has to give you a reason. Do you love him?" Her last question burned into Deans brain. He didn't know. Did he love him? Well why would he have kissed him then? He just didn't know.  
  
"Easy to say... I- I don't know.. I often had this weird feeling filling my stomach when I look at him. When our eyes meet. I enjoy every second I spend with him and I'm sad if I have to leave him. It's stupid." He sighed.  
  
"Sweetheart, you're in love. And if you love him go fight for him. You are a Winchester, you don't just give up, you fight for things. If you want I'll make a great dinner for both of you. You invite him over and you talk. But don't let him go. I know how important he is to you." Mary smiled.  
  
"But a Winchester shouldn't be gay. And if John finds out, I'm dead and you probably to and I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Dean now finally faced Mary.  
  
"Dean, it doesn't matter to me if you like boys or girls but go for it. Don't let him go. Not after what you've both been trough. And your father won't notice anything. He will probably be away for two weeks now. Don't worry. Take him home with you tomorrow. No's don't count and now let's eat dinner." She smiled encouraging Dean and stood up walking into the kitchen.  
  
She was right. Dean was a fighter. He should fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way I tried formating the conversations a way different. Is it better to read like that or should I just paragraphs not leaving out a whole line?


	9. Heartache

It was Monday. That meant going to school. And that meant Dean would see Castiel. And since it was school there was no way he could avoid Dean. Also Dean needed to see Cas. He didn't get his mind off of him and that probably wouldn't be good for his football test today. Dean changed into his clothes and packed his bags for school. Sam stayed home today because he didn't feel good, so Dean said Goodbye to his mother and left already since he was running late. He threw his bags into the back of his Baby and hopped into the driver seat. Normally he would've picked up Castiel and his brother to give them a ride to school but he couldn't do that now. He kind of wanted to give Castiel the space he wanted. Dean didn't even know what he was going to say when he was going to talk to Castiel. A sigh escaped his mouth and soon after he pulled up at the parking lot. Usually he would've seen Cas by now already but he didn't. So Dean kept an eye out for his other friends and luckily found Benny talking to Garth. "Have you seen Cas yet?" Dean asked when he joined them. "Well good morning to ya, too. Nah haven't seen him." Benny grinned. Garth only nodded to agree with Benny. Dean had at least two classes with Cas today. He shouldn't worry about that.   
When it was just about time they walked in and to their first period of the day. Maths. When they entered the room it was pretty much empty. Probably a normal thing for a Monday morning. Slowly, minute after minute people walked in. You could perfectly see what they were doing on the weekend. "Hey Dean!" Kevin smiled and sat down next to him. When Dean thought about it, it wasn't bad having Kevin sitting next to him. He always brought good mood with himself and that actually motivated Dean to do something. Also Kevin was good at maths so he always had someone to help him out. "Has anyone seen Mr. Novak?" Mrs. Mills asked when she checked if everyone was there. Everyone just shook their head. Where was he? Dean sighed a little. "Everything okay?" Kevin whispered towards Dean. He was confused by his question. "Yeah. Just a little bit upset about some things." Dean smiled a little. Luckily Kevin didn't question it.   
  
It seemed like this period took hours to be over. Dean left as soon as the bell rang and hoped to find Castiel somewhere. But he didn't. So he decided to look for Balthazar or Gabriel. It didn't take long until he found Balth. "Hey Balthazar, is Castiel in school today?" Dean asked Cas' older brother. "Oh Dean.. uh sorry, I can't really talk to you right now, I have to go and get something.. See you later." While finishing his sentence he already left. What was that? If Dean didn't know better he'd say they are sort of against Dean. So now Dean's only hope was Gabriel. He walked through the hallway, looking for the short friend of Sam. Finally he found him. "Gabe! Is Cas in school today?" He asked him when he turned around. "Should be. But Dean listen, I can't really talk to you now. Let Castiel explain it to you." Gabriel said. What was he talking about? What was wrong with the Novak's lately? "Uhm okay? Oh and can you drop off the exercises et cetera for Sam at our house later? He's not feeling good today." He asked him and only received a nod before being left alone. Did everyone know about what he did just not him? Again Dean sighed.  
"Dean is everything alright?" Charlie spoke out. Instantly Dean's face went up and he looked at the red head in front of him. "Kind of." He just said.  
"What's wrong?" Her voice was concerned. She probably also knew what was wrong and maybe just wanted to check for Castiel if Dean knew what was going on. But then what would Charlie have to do with Cas? They were two completely different type of people.   
"Just some weird stuff going on... Gotta find someone and actually talk to him. Haven't found him yet though." Dean only explained. He didn't want to say too much about everything. People didn't have to know about that.   
"Castiel?" She asked and Dean could feel his breath stopping. Even though he tried hiding it.  
"Come on, others might be stupid but I can see underneath your vessels and I can see what's going on deep inside both of you." Charlie added.  
"You can?" Dean nearly gasped. Did he really just do that? He wanted to punch himself for his reaction. Charlie only giggled though.  
"No but you just prove me I'm right." She grinned wide causing Dean to roll his eyes. Finally they both went to their next period which was music. One thing he didn't share with Castiel. But maybe it was better. So now he had something to focus on, cause he didn't have to think about him maybe coming in any minute. But his girlfriend was in his music class, what didn't make things easier since their kiss.   
  
Luckily this period was gone by faster than the other one and now biology stood on the plan. He had to be there. He had to present the video. It was his only chance. Even if Dean wanted to go straight into the room, Charlie and Jo got him to join them in the cafeteria. Dean didn't bring any food with him cause he clearly forgot to take it from the kitchen counter in his rush. "Don't you want to eat something?" Lisa asked Dean. He turned his head towards her and just shook his head.  
"I'm not hungry." He added to that.  
When the break was nearly over, him and Charlie walked towards their biology room. When he entered his eyes first made their way to Castiel's seat which was seriously taken. Also by him. But what else did he see? Castiel almost making out with Hannah again. He could feel how his heart shattered a little in his chest. "I'm sorry." He heard Charlie whisper and softly placed her hand on Dean's upper arm. He only nodded. Dean was simply too late. Maybe things would've turned out different if they never left ten years ago. Quietly he sat down onto his chair and waited for the period to start.  
  
"Quiet everyone. Hannah, Castiel stop making love in public." Mr. Graham began his period. "I hope all of your projects are going well and as I can see, most of the babies here are asleep right now. Well two of you weren't even able to make it one day. But one of them got another chance to prove himself in another way. Castiel, show us your work." Mr. Graham said and took a seat in the back of the room. Cas made his way up to the laptop and opened the video.   
"Most of you probably know I've got two little twin brothers and with that video I want to show you a day in my life, taking care of them." He introduced the video before starting to play it. Dean could not watch or listen to it. He placed his head on his desk and covered his ears with his hands.   
This was going way worse than he expected it. The next thing he heard was clapping, so Dean guessed he was done. Luckily. "Great work, Castiel. I'm glad you took this serious. A+ for you." Mr. Graham told and walked up to the front. "Everyone except Castiel and Dean now listen." He started again. _Great._ Dean thought and shut his mind off. He probably gave them some tasks that had something to do with the project.   
"Dean, Castiel. You will clean the material that was left from experiments in other classes. Follow me." He ordered.  
This was Dean's opportunity. It was now or never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though I think it pretty much sucked. See you in the next one!


	10. The test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey before you read the chapter, I wanted to ask you if you might have any wishes for Sam and Gabriel? I can't think of anything for these two right now but maybe you've got something special on your mind?:)  
> I'd love to hear from you!

As soon as the teacher left, Castiel was left alone with Dean. He couldn't face him just once.   
Gabriel told him ever since he got home and noticed Castiel crying, that he should tell Dean about everything. That he should tell him about his parents cause it wouldn't be fair if he didn't know anything. But Castiel couldn't just talk to Dean. Not after they kissed. It felt so wrong but also so right. The even worse thing was that not even Hannah could get him to other thoughts. He kissed her but felt like kissing Dean. He thought about Dean when her lips touched his. This was just very wrong.   
With shaky hands Castiel washed all the glasses he had to wash.   
"Cas. We need to talk. I know this isn't easy for both of us, but I can't do this otherwise." Dean spoke out. Castiel flinched a little when he heard Dean's voice. He guessed he couldn't just avoid this talk. Even though he wished. "I don't think there is anything to talk about." Castiel whispered. He didn't even notice that he was that quiet.   
"There is actually a lot. For example, why did you tell me to leave you alone?" Dean turned off the water and took the glasses and the sponge out of Castiel's hand when he noticed he was shaking a little too much. He took a deep breath and dried his hands before sitting down on a chair and running his finger through his hair. "You know that my parents just came home and Anna couldn't keep her mouth shut and told them that you're back. They don't want me to have any contact to you anymore. They think I was depressed back when you left. But I wasn't! I just couldn't handle it. I was young. It's like your pet died away and you're sad for a pretty long time." He explained.  
"And you're listening to that? Just because your parents don't want you to have any contact with me anymore, you listen to them? You're not so punk as I thought you were back at the first day of school." Dean's eyes burned into Castiel's body.   
"You won't understand it, Dean. Just leave it." Cas sighed and faced the ground. This was not the way he hoped this conversation would go.  
"And what about the kiss?" The words fell hard from Dean's lips. Sadness was in his tone.   
Castiel felt his heartbeat increasing. His body got hot and he started sweating. "What about it?" He tried to sound not caring about it but he failed. Instead his voice was weak.   
"Cas come on. It's not nothing." Dean's voice got louder.   
"I don't know, Dean okay? I just don't know. It seemed like everything changed after you kissing me. You know that my parents are strict and that I have a very strict background. They would beat the shit out of me when they found out I kissed a boy. And they would probably beat the shit out of me if they knew I'm talking to you." Castiel finally glanced at Dean. He saw the sadness in his eyes. The worry.   
"And that's just it? You will just tell me to leave you alone and not have any contact to you anymore? After finally being together again?" Dean's eyes became glassy and red. Castiel could tell that he held back his tears.   
"I guess so." Castiel replied. Dean just couldn't hold back a tear anymore.   
"If that's what makes you happy. Just know that... that I love you, Cas." Was the last thing Dean said before the room filled with silence and he went back to cleaning. Castiel could literally feel his heart drop into his pants. Dean loved him. And all Cas did was pushing him away. He tried to get himself together again and also headed back to cleaning.  
"By the way. I've got my test for being accepted into the football team today after school. I'd be happy to see you there." Dean said before he left.   
Castiel was a mess. His mind was a mess. His feelings were a mess.   
  
  
******************************************************************  
  
  
Dean couldn't believe that these were his actual reasons. But if this was his wish then Dean would fulfil it. But to be fair enough he had to tell Castiel that he had feelings for him. The boy he knew since he was a child. The boy he lost for ten years. The boy with those beautiful ocean blue eyes and raven black, almost sex hair. The boy he just got back but lost him again. Dean didn't hope for much when he told Castiel that he'd be happy if Cas would show up at his football test. The bell rang and Dean left the room. He didn't even pay attention to Charlie who was trying to talk to him. He just wanted to be alone. The only one he actually would've wanted around him, doesn't want to see him anymore. So he sat alone. Back leant against a tree. It was quite cold but it was refreshing. It felt like his head and mind cooled down for a short time. By the thought of his next period being history, which he also shared with Castiel, he wanted to throw up. At one point all he wanted to do, is to see Castiel but on the other hand he just wanted to crop him out of his mind. Especially now.   
Sadly this break was over sooner than he wanted it to be. Slowly he got up and made his way into the history room not even bothering to be on time.   
When he entered the room he noticed that the seat beside Balthazar was taken by Garth now. "I hope you don't bother sitting next to Benny." Balth said with a little excusing face. So this do-not-talk-to-Dean-Winchester thing counted for the whole family? Great. "Sure I don't mind." Dean faked a smile and sat down next to Benny. He really didn't mind. He liked Benny and he could say that he was one of his closest friends at this school. Dean tried to ignore Cas as much as he could during this class. Even though he could feel his eyes on his body.   
  
Luckily the school day ended faster than Dean had expected and he made his way up to the gym, where he was just about to have his test. American football. He didn't even know what he was so fascinated about. He just wanted to try this out.   
Before the test started he noticed Castiel standing on the other side of the field watching him. Dean couldn't help but smile a little. So the coach tested him in running, defensive skills, offensive skills, how he managed the kicks and more. Soon the coach noticed that Dean was better in offensive ways. And Dean had to admit he really liked to tackle people down. So at the end of his test he anyways had to wait a few minutes cause the team and the coach had to talk about if they accepted him or not. Again Dean took a look around to look for Cas. He was sad. Dean could feel himself getting sad immediately. Did he only imagine Cas standing there cause he wanted him to be there that badly?  
"Congrats Winchester. Welcome to the team. Now follow me to set up some formal things and then you can leave. The rest of you, get ready for training. 10 laps for each of you." Coach ordered. Dean followed his instructions and walked into the changing room with him, where he had to fill in some paper work. "Take a shower and then you're free. Next training for you is next Monday." The coach ordered and then left. Dean didn't expect it to be that easy. He thought he could actually change and take a shower calmly. He wasn't rushed cause the team was gone for at least an hour.  
  
So Dean hopped underneath the shower to wash his sweat off. When he finished he wrapped his towel around his waist and walked back to his bag to change.  
"You were great out there." He suddenly heard a familiar voice. Dean jumped back because of shock and hit his elbow against a locker, feeling the pain rushing through his whole arm. Then he looked at where the voice came from and saw Cas leaning against a locker. "How long have you been here?" Dean asked.   
"Might've spied on you a little in the shower." A smirk formed on Castiel's face and Dean could only feel himself blush. What was going on with Cas? Where did this sudden change come from?  
"Just kidding. I just came here." Castiel's smirk formed into a smile.   
"As you can see, I'm changing." Dean murmured. Of course he did not mind Cas being there but even though this made him quite uncomfortable.   
"I can turn around." Cas winked at Dean. This boy, dammit.   
"Then do that." Dean rolled his eyes taking his boxers from the bench he put it on. To his surprise Castiel actually turned around. So Dean released the towel of his waist and was just about to put his boxers on, as Castiel turned around again, smirking. "God dammit Castiel!" He held his boxers in front of his crotch and then turned around himself, putting on his boxers fast.   
"Nice ass." Dean heard Cas whisper into his ear. When he turned around Castiel's and his faces were nearly touching each other. Dean's breath stopped at how close he was to Cas until he got pushed against a locker and the black haired boy crushed his lips onto Dean's. It didn't take long for Dean to actually return the kiss. If he didn't knew better, Castiel was pretty much turned on by what he got to see but what was going on with him? At one moment he wants Dean to leave and now he comes over creeping at him, staring at his exposed body and kissing him? He really had to figure this boy out.


	11. Time for the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to inform you guys, I'm probably posting another chapter later tonight and maybe there's going to be something hot going on ;) Hope you enjoy this one!

Even though it was the thing he didn't want to do, Dean softly pushed Castiel away. "What's going on with you? This isn't you Castiel." Dean asked and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"This is me, Dean. I figured everything out and I thought about everything a lot. I thought about you a lot. Ever since we kissed, I can't think of anything else anymore. Even if I kiss Hannah, I've got you on my mind. I imagine I'm kissing you instead of her and I don't want to know what I imagine when I go further than kissing with her. I don't even know if there is anything I feel for her anymore. Cause what I know is, that I love you, too." Castiel spoke out. It felt like Dean's heart stopped beating.  
"And I don't care what my parents said. I want to stay in touch with you. I want to see you and I want to kiss you." Castiel added, since Dean didn't say anything.   
"Let me get dressed and we'll talk about that at home okay?" Dean suggested. He couldn't get anything else out. He was too surprised by what he said. Castiel only nodded and stood there watching Dean, who didn't do a thing.  
"Don't you wanted to get dressed? I mean I wouldn't mind this at all but I don't know about you." Castiel pointed out that Dean was still in his boxers. When he realised it by himself, he put on his pants and shirt again and put anything he didn't need any more in his bag. He took his bags and together with Cas, he made his way up to his impala.  
"Thank you for coming." Dean could finally say when they were driving towards the Winchester's house. For a moment he looked over at the boy sitting next to him. Castiel turned his face to Dean as well and gave him a warm smile.  
"You're welcome. Like I said you were great out there." He still smiled at Dean while Dean was already focussing on the road again.  
Dean probably couldn't even find enough words for how glad he was to have Cas with him right now. It was everything he wanted but he didn't think that it would go good in any way. Someday there had to be something going wrong.  
A short while later, Dean pulled up in front of their house and got out of the impala. There was a bike outside of the house that Dean didn't know so it seemed like Gabriel was over. After Castiel got out as well, they made their way up to the house and went it. Mary was sitting in the living room and watched some TV, while laughter came from above. Dean closed the door behind Cas and walked into the living room to greet his mother. "Oh, hey Castiel. I'm glad you're here." She smiled and then faced Dean. "We will talk about everything now." He whispered into her ear and then left to his room with Cas.  
Dean put his bags away and sat down onto his bed, patting next to him. Not even hesitating, Castiel sat down next to him. He took Dean's hand in his and smiled a little.   
"So... you really love me?" Dean asked, looking at Cas' hand in his.   
"Yes, Dean." Castiel's voice was soft. Calming. Dean couldn't help but smile and now looked up into Cas' eyes.  
"But how did that change come so quickly?" Dean asked and stared right into his eyes. They were as beautiful as the first time he saw them.   
"Like I said, I thought about everything a lot and I figured that I'm worse being without you. I just couldn't keep my mind off of you. I also talked to Gabriel about it. He told me I should talk to you and even if I decided against you, I should at least tell you why. Damn I don't care what my parents say. I love you and I want to spend my days with you. I don't want to avoid you." Castiel kissed Dean's cheek which caused him to blush.   
"Thank you." Dean only said.  
"For what?" Castiel was clearly confused.  
"For everything." Dean smiled and kissed Castiel. Immediately Cas returned his kiss and rested his hand on Dean's cheek. Unlike the other times they kissed each other, this was a soft and lovely kiss. There was nothing rough about it and they didn't feel the urge to rip each other's clothes off. Not yet. Time after time the kiss got more passionate and Castiel slowly pressed Dean onto his back, crawling over him. But then he interrupted the kiss and sat down on Dean's stomach.  
"I'm throwing a party on Wednesday since we've only got three days of school this week and my parents are gone for a while again. Anna won't be there. Probably. And if she has nothing to say cause the party was her idea." Castiel smiled. "So are you coming?" He then asked, looking down at Dean. "I don't know.. I'm not really a party person." Dean shrugged.  
"For me? Pretty please?" Castiel pouted and looked at Dean with puppy eyes. Damn it. At this point he hated Cas. Dean could never say no to Sam's puppy eyes. How was he supposed to say not to Cas'?   
"Ugh fine." He sighed and a huge smile spread around Castiel's face.  
"We've still got to plan though. I think it will start around seven." Castiel smiled and leaned forward to kiss Dean's forehead. Dean took that opportunity to wrap his arms around Cas and pull him close. He only received a smile and then Cas buried his face in Dean's neck, gently leaving kisses and sucking a little every now and then. At one spot Dean believed he left a hickey cause he sucked harder and longer than on the other places.  
"So are we... in a relationship or?" Dean asked a little while later. Castiel lifted his head up to face Dean. "If that's what you want. I still have to figure things out with Hannah though. Cause I'm sort of still with her. But I will end things with her. I promise." Castiel replied smiling and Dean only nodded.  
"But of course I want to be your boyfriend." Dean then smiled kissing Cas again until Mary walked in. Without knocking.  
"O-oh I'm so sorry for interrupting. Uhm.. Gabriel wanted to head home and I guess I should tell you, in case you want to join him." Mary said trying not to sound embarrassed.   
"Uh yeah, I should probably also head home. See you tomorrow." Castiel pecked Dean's lips before getting up and rushing downstairs.   
When they heard the door shut, Mary closed the door behind herself and walked over to Dean who now sat up straight.  
"Seems like it went good." She smiled.  
"Yeah. He told me that his parents didn't want him to be in contact with me but he will still stay in contact with me cause they can't decide what he does. And he said he loves me as well and well.. we are together." A huge smile spread across Dean's face when he spoke out the last words.   
"I told you everything would be alright. I'm proud of you. And I hope your relationship will work out great. If you need any tips or anything you can talk to me." She suggested.   
"Mom, this is awkward." Dean rolled his eyes and grinned.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So you talked to him?" Gabriel asked while pushing his bike next to himself.   
"Yeah." Castiel answered. Just don't say too much Castiel.   
"And?" Gabriel was curious.   
"I've explained everything to him. First we talked in school and told him I wanted him to leave. He told me that he had his football test today and he would be happy to see me there. I had a lot of time to think from the time I told him he should leave me and his test and I decided that I don't want to be without him. I still have to tell Hannah. But I love him and he loves me and we're dating. But don't tell Anna or anyone okay? I'm trusting you with this." Castiel explained the whole situation to his little brother. Gabriel only grinned widely.   
"Congrats bro. I knew you would find your right path." He patted Cas' shoulder.   
"And don't worry. I won't tell anyone." He promised.


	12. The love we deserve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised here's the second chapter for today! Hope you enjoy the little "surprise";)

 

**/////SMUT CONTENT/////**

 

Dean looked through his clothes to find something good to wear for the party he was going to. He had about an hour left and didn't have much clothing in offer.  
Luckily Gabriel came over to have a sleepover with Sam so Dean wouldn't have to bother looking out for his brother to see if he's fine.   
His mother Dean told that he was going to do some school stuff with Cas. He couldn't just tell her that he was going to a party.  
"Why can't we come to the party?" Dean flinched when he heard his brother's voice.  
"What? What party?" Dean asked nervously.  
"Come on, I'm the smarter one of us. And also do you think Gabriel wouldn't find out and wouldn't tell me?" Sam questioned his older brother causing Dean to sigh.  
"But please don't tell Mom okay? Look there will be a lot of Juniors and even a lot of Seniors and you're both Freshmen and I just don't want anything to happen to you and I also don't want to keep my eye on you for the whole party." Dean explained.  
"I won't tell Mom. Don't worry. Just take care of yourself, alright?" Sam sounded like he was the older one of both. Sometimes he really acted like he was the older one and Dean couldn't deny it.   
"I will. And if Dad comes home you call me alright? I will come back home right away." Dean said before hugging his brother. When Dean let go, Sam just left without saying a word.  
  
Dean's eyes met his clock. He only had half n hour left. When did the time go by that fast? Did it really take him that long to find an outfit? Well he talked to Sam in between but anyways. Fast Dean went into the bathroom and styled his hair a little and put some of his perfume on afterwards. When he was ready he put on his leather jacket and walked downstairs shouting, "I'm leaving now. See you tomorrow."  
  
He got into his Impala and excitement filled his body. Dean didn't even know why he was that excited. Probably because he was finally able to spend time with Cas without hiding or looking out for Anna. To Dean's surprise the streets were actually pretty full and he was really afraid to be running late. Every few seconds he looked at the clock in his car to see if he was going to be there on time and luckily he was.  
Dean pulled up at the Novak's house and got out immediately, rushing towards the door and ringing the bell. Only a second later the door already opened and Dean was welcomed by his boyfriend. A gentle kiss was pressed onto his lips which he returned in delight.   
"Come in." Castiel grabbed Dean's hand and pulled him inside.  
Even though there were a few minutes left the party was already going. People already drank and danced and everyone had a good time. Dean wasn't so sure of everything.   
"You should get used to it, you know. You're a jock and since you're in the football team you will have to go to a lot of parties." Castiel spoke into Dean's ear. The music was loud. Loud enough for the people inside but quiet enough for nobody outside to hear.   
"Worst decision I ever made." Dean sighed.   
"Come on, let's drink something. It will get you into the right mood." Castiel pulled Dean towards the bar where a lot of bottles and some already mixed drinks stood. But Cas decided to mix some on his own.  
  
A lot of drinks and probably one or two hours later, Dean, Cas and some other people decided to play spin the bottle. It was Castiel's turn. "The one the top points at, has to kiss me." He grinned at Dean being sure it would point at him. So he spun the bottle and everyone cheered until it actually pointed at Dean. Now everyone cheered. "Kiss him kiss him kiss him" Luckily no one was going to remember that afterwards cause the other people sitting in this sort of circle drank way more than Cas and Dean. So Dean leant over to Castiel and pressed his lips onto Cas'. Soon their kiss was filled with passion and need until Cas pulled Dean onto his lap. "Get a room you two." Someone laughed and that was nothing they would've let someone say twice. Together they got up and walked, well as far as you could call that walking, into Castiel's room. They closed the door behind them and crashed their lips together again. Heat filled Dean's body with every second of their kiss.  
  
  
******  
  
  
While other people were completely out of their minds after having a couple drink, Castiel still had a clear mind. Sure he was drunk but he was going to remember everything happening that night and didn't do anything he wasn't aware of. When Dean and Cas entered his room their kissing got to a new level. Hot breaths met each other every time they rung for air between their kisses. Castiel grabbed the bottom of Dean's shirt and pulled it up and over his head, dropping it onto the ground. It was nothing new for him to see so he could concentrate on kissing Dean and making sure he wasn't going to get tired of him. Soon both of them were only left in their underwear and Cas decided to take that opportunity and pushed Dean onto his bed, crawling on top of him. Castiel traced kisses down to Dean's neck where he started sucking on different spots making sure to leave marks. He moved downwards to his chest, where he did the exact same thing. He would enjoy seeing all the marks on Dean's body the morning after. He liked to show that Dean was his boy. Even if nobody knew that those hickeys came from him. Cas placed kisses onto Dean's body until he got to his boxers. He looked up at Dean and just grinned, going back up to kiss Dean's lips, which made Dean growl first but then return the kiss with all the passion he had. Castiel started grinding his hips into Dean's causing both of their dicks to rub against each other. They could feel each other getting hard very well even if there were boxers still separating bare skin from bare skin. Their kisses got rougher. Biting each other's lips was involved. Slowly Castiel gripped Dean's boxers and tore them down, releasing his hard length. A smirk formed on Castiel face by the view he got.  
He was proud to have an affect like that on Dean. Afterwards he pulled his own boxers down and then stood up. Dean only gave him a confused look. Castiel reached underneath his bed and grabbed a box which he opened and took out some lube and a condom. When got everything out, he shoved the box underneath his bed again and put the things aside before spinning Dean around and helping him into doggy style position. It was good that Dean wasn't protesting against anything Cas did. Probably because of his drunken state.  
  
But then Cas put some lube onto Dean's hole and his own finger and first slid one finger in, which was pretty easy because of the lube. "Look at me." Castiel ordered while moving his finger for Dean to get used to it.  
Slowly Dean turned around his head to face Castiel, while he was biting his lip. A smirk formed on Dean's face again and he added one finger, picking up the speed of his movement. Every once in a while a quiet moan came from Dean's mouth. Soon Cas added a third finger and on Dean's request even a fourth. Dean clearly enjoyed it and was close to his high but just then Cas pulled his fingers out, reaching for the condom. Dean gasped by the sudden stop of Cas' fingers. "Cas, please." He whined.   
"Please what?" Castiel smirked and started rubbing his length against Dean's hole while opening up the condom with his teeth since his one hand was full of lube.   
"Please fuck me. Pleasee." Dean still whined pressing himself against Castiel.   
"Patience." Castiel said teasing and rolled over the condom. But Cas decided not to tease Dean any longer and pushed his length all the way in making dean moan out loud.  
Cas gripped Dean's waist tight and as soon as he started moving, he pulled him against himself every time, causing noises of bare skin hitting and being deeper than he already was.  
  
Castiel even caught himself leaving some moans every now and then. He picked up his pace, making Dean moan louder. Moan his name louder. It was great having him under his control. Castiel never thought he would, because it was never clear to say who of them was the dominant one. But for now it was Cas and he enjoyed everything of that.   
With pacing up his speed, he gripped tighter onto Dean's hip, probably leaving marks of his hands there. Every thrust was clearly enjoyable for both of them.   
Soon Castiel was close to his high, again speeding up the pace once more until his cum filled the condom with his last trust. But Dean wasn't done yet.   
Cas pulled himself out and spun Dean over again, receiving a confused look. But Cas didn't mind though. He split Dean's legs and crawled between them, pushing to fingers into his hole again and taking his length all the way into his mouth. Slowly he started moving his head up and down while moving his fingers all the way along that. It didn't take long for Dean to finish as well and cum into Cas' mouth. Being brave Cas swallowed down everything that came from Dean's dick until it stopped.   
  
"I'll just clean myself up" Cas grinned and walked into the bathroom, connected to his bedroom. He washed his hands and took off the condom, throwing it away. After that he walked back to Dean who snuggled into his blanket. Castiel joined him and wrapped his arm tight around Dean, kissing him once more before both of them drifted asleep.


	13. Not his amusement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first to say, I'm sorry I didn't upload yesterday(for me it's two day ago right now) but I had to get up really early and that's why I went to bed earlier causing me not to write anything cause I usually write at night. And actually I'm really tired right now it's 1 am and I planned going to bed an hour ago but I just thought I needed to drop a chapter. So here it is, it sucks cause I'm really tired and I'm getting sick but I hope you enjoy it anyways.

Headache awakened Dean. It felt like someone was hammering inside of his head. He wanted to roll onto his back but noticed he couldn't because there were some arms wrapped around him. Dean opened his eyes to find no one else but Castiel lying next to him, causing him to smile widely. To his own surprise Dean remembered everything that happened last night. The amazing hot sex. Castiel was amazing. Even though Dean never thought he'd ever bottom for anyone. Dean just wasn't the type to bottom. He would show Cas so soon enough.   
  
Carefully Dean turned around to face Cas, since they were spooning before. Castiel was still sleeping peacefully. He looked so innocent. As if he couldn't even hurt a fly. Softly and barely touching Cas' skin, Dean tuck Cas' hair behind since it fell into his face.   
"Good morning." The person in front of him mumbled, causing him to smile even more. "Hey." Dean whispered and pressed a soft kiss onto Cas' lips.   
"I don't think Mom and Dad will like that you're still having contact with Dean." They suddenly heard, as the door opened. It was Anna. Who else. "And I don't think they would be happy knowing their son has a boyfriend, he just fucked in this house." She grinned and took out her phone.  
"They will never know. If you tell them you're stabbing yourself, cause you were throwing this party." Castiel hissed at her.  
"I've got pictures. And I can just say it was your idea." She grinned and showed both of them pictures of them being together. Castiel stood up, completely forgetting the fact that he was naked and stormed towards Anna.   
"You won't tell them anything or I will tell them what things you've already done. You won't be their little favourite anymore." He hissed at her.  
"Oh Cassie. We will see about that plus you should better put some clothes on, you're disgusting." Anna said before leaving the room.  
Castiel just stood there, looking at the ground. "I'm going to die." He whispered. Dean stood up and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend from behind.   
"You're not." Dean softly pressed some kisses onto Cas' neck.  
"I don't fucking know what my parents will do if they find out about this. They will go crazy. They didn't like it when I got tattooed or pierced and that was nothing. But now if they find out I'm gay and had sex with you..." Castiel shook his head, not continuing his sentence.   
"You will be fine. I will protect you. I promise." Dean whispered into Cas' ear. His boyfriend turned around and hugged the taller boy, burying his face in his neck. Dean's hand stroke up and down Cas' back to calm him down, which luckily worked.   
"We should get something to wear and see if there's any chaos downstairs. I'll help you clean up." Dean kissed Cas' head before pulling away.   
When Dean faced his upper body in the mirror he couldn't help but grin at all the hickeys, Cas gave him. "The fuck did you do to me." Dean grinned. Castiel's face turned to Dean's upper body. "Dunno." He shrugged smiling a little.   
"That's not fair, you know. I've got marks everywhere and you don't have a single mark." Dean pouted.  
"Well I'm the top. I get to do that." Castiel now smirked.  
"Oh are you?" Dean rose his eyebrow and looked at Cas, who only nodded proudly. "Let's see about that." Dean grinned and pushed Castiel onto his bed, sitting onto his waist and pinning his hands next to his head. Then he starting kissing and sucking Castiel's neck, also leaving marks.   
"Better." Dean grinned and stood up, continuing dressing himself up.  
"Well, now they will find out." Castiel sighed, obviously not amused, what kind of hurt Dean. He hid it though. "Just say it was Hannah or something." He replied. The happiness, the fun in his voice was gone.   
"I'm sorry, Dean." Castiel knew he kind of screwed up but Dean wouldn't admit it towards Cas.   
"Whatever." Dean replied, putting on his jacket.  
"You know. Maybe this isn't right. Maybe his is worse for us than we thought. It can cause both of us real trouble." The black haired boy said and Dean's head turned to face him.  
"Are you serious right now? Both of us knew what this relationship would take and now you're like this? You know what I'm thinking? You're just doing this to embarrass me to the whole school. You've placed a bet saying that you will get me in bed right? Congratulations. You did it. Hope it was worth it. Goodbye Castiel." Dean said and only heard Cas call after him as he left, but he didn't care. Dean was stupid enough to even fall for this. Why did he even think that this would be a serious relationship?   
  
While driving home, Dean's head was hammering even more than it did before. It was horrible. Not only that, also the thoughts of Castiel and his words flew through his head. Was he really like that? Did he really just do that to embarrass Dean? Well, how could there be another explanation?   
When Dean pulled up at his house, he noticed his Dad's car outside. Fast he took out his phone but didn't see any calls of Sammy. Dean got out of his car and rushed into the house. It was quiet. He didn't see Mary anywhere so he went to go look for Gabriel and Sam. He wanted to enter Sam's room but it was locked. "Bitch." Dean whispered, sure enough that Sam would hear it. The door unlocked and opened. "Jerk." Sam answered, inviting Dean in and locking the door behind him again.   
"You look funny." Gabriel grinned.   
"Yeah, would cut every mark out if I wouldn't die of it." Dean answered looking at Gabriel with a straight face. He wasn't joking. Both, Gabriel and Sam raised their eyebrows but didn't bother to question it any more. "Why didn't you call me?" Dean asked, turning his face to Sam.  
"I didn't want to ruin your fun. It was the first day after such a long time that you actually went out. Dad seems pretty upset about that though.." Sam answered.   
"How's Mom? Where is she?" Dean's voice was honest. He tried to hide the anger, filling his body.  
"I told her to hide in your room, when Gabriel and I ran to my room. I heard her crying." Sam's voice was quiet. "But you two are alright?" Dean's eyes changed the eye contact between Gabriel and Sam. Both of them nodded.  
"Stay in here until I get you out." Dean ordered leaving the room, hearing the door lock again.   
  
Then Dean turned to his own room to check if his mother was in there but he was stopped before.  
"Oh there you are. Where do you think you're going?!" The angry voice of his father echoed through his ears. Slowly Dean turned around to face his father. He didn't have to stand close to him to tell he was drunk. "Why do you care?" Dean answered calmly.  
"Cause you've got to be here brat. Where do those come from?! Better be from a girl!" He yelled at Dean.  
"No they're not. Actually they're made by a boy and you know what? I also had sex with a boy. Yeah you heard right! But just in case you're wondering, yeah I regret it." Dean's hands built fists, preparing for what was going to happen.  
And sooner than expected he felt the fist of his father, punching his face a few times.  
"You're a worthless fag! You're lucky I'm having a good day but don't think I'll come back to you with that." John pushed Dean to the ground and kicked his stomach once more before leaving. A few seconds later Dean heard the main door shut. It took him a minute until he got up. "Sammy, Gabriel. You can get out now. Grab some breakfast, I'll drop you off at your house later, Gabe." Dean ordered and then went for his room. He knocked a little. Weird for it being his own room. "Mom? It's me. Open up." Dean's voice suddenly softened. He didn't know what expected him and he was scared. "It's open." His mother said with a quiet voice. Slowly Dean entered the room and looked at his mother, sitting on his bed. Her cheek was red, on its way to turn blue. Dean felt anger filling his body as he walked over to his mother, bulling her into his arms. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there." Dean whispered. "Don't mention it. Now tell me what happened to you, Sweetheart." Mary heard everything Dean said to his father. So did Sam and Gabriel. Everybody in this house did but for now, Dean didn't care.


	14. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this kind of sucks and is quite short but I didn't want to put everything in one chapter so you've kind of got more of this fic!  
> I've got to disappoint you and say that there are going to be some sad things still happening BUT I will try to squeeze in some good things, as soon as something comes into my mind.  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

It has been three days since Castiel has last seen Dean. And it would probably take two more days until he would see him. He tried texting and calling Dean but he didn't response. It was all a big misunderstanding.  
Castiel did indeed love Dean and this was not just a joke or a bet to see how easy he was to get in bed. Cas just worried about his parents. He knew he would be dead by the second they found out. But right now he wouldn't mind at all.   
His parents have been back from their family visit and didn't know anything about the party or Cas and Dean. Gabriel was staying at the Winchester's again. He didn't know how much Cas wanted to be him. Gabe offered Cas multiple times to just take him there cause Dean obviously couldn't avoid Cas there. Well he probably could anyways but Cas just didn't want to bother him.  
  
The family was called down for dinner. His mother, his father, Balthazar and Anna were there. It was kind of a surprise that only Gabriel was missing. It was quite. Normally Gabe would've kept a conversation up but he wasn't there so nobody needed a talk. The only sounds were forks meeting the plates. "Mom, Dad. Did you already hear the news?" Anna asked them. Cas was dead. He was so dead. Every time she started like that, she was going to tell something about Cas. Every single time.   
"What is it this time?" Mother asked her in annoyance.   
"Castiel got a boyfriend. It gets better, it's Dean Winchester. And even better, they had sex at a party thrown in here." Anna grinned.   
Castiel didn't even need to raise his head to notice everyone was looking at him.   
"Castiel James Novak, is this true?" His father asked sharp but still calm.  
"No it's not. Plus little missy threw the party here." Castiel answered. He knew his lie wouldn't make it.  
"Stop lying Castiel. Look, Mom, Dad." She said, taking out her phone and showed them the pictures. Castiel faced Balthazar, who just sat there quietly. Then he heard his mother sniffing, and a chair being thrown back before he got pulled up. He felt the fist of his father hitting his face a lot of times until he felt something liquid running down his nose. "Pack your stuff and leave. We don't ever want to see you here again." His father hissed, pushing him towards the hallway. Castiel only looked at Anna's face to see if she was happy but now also her face was shocked.  
"D-Dad do you really think he h-has to leave?" She stuttered.   
"Yes. He has been betraying us. He isn't a part of this family anymore." He heard his father say before walking upstairs and taking out a huge back. He threw some clothes in, all of the presents Gabriel and Balth have ever given to him and a few more necessary things. Cas grabbed his purse and walked downstairs. On his way he destroyed some flower pots, family pictures and small lamps. To that he slammed the door shut and just walked into any direction. Just now Cas realised that he had nowhere to go. Sure he knew some people but if they saw him like that and knew why he was thrown out they would not even invite him in. So Castiel went for a nearby park and sat down onto a bench. It was cold. But not the coldest yet. He worried about next night. It should be the coldest night of this month and he didn't have anything good with him. Somehow he would manage it. Somehow.  


~~~~~~  
  
  
Until now he didn't deal with the fact how he was going to go through the night until the sun went down. It already began getting colder. Castiel crawled himself together and pulled his jacket tight around him. He was freezing. It would be a miracle if he didn't freeze to death. A few people walked by. None of them bothered him sitting there. They ignored him. An old lady offered him a coffee but Cas didn't drink any coffee. Hours have gone by while people were walking past him. Cas didn't even feel his feet anymore and his hands were ice-cold. He heard the engine of a car going off in front of him but he didn't even care to raise his head.   
"Cas?" He suddenly heard a familiar voice. Now Cas couldn't help but raise his head. It was Dean. Out of anyone walking past him, it was Dean. And it was Dean that stopped. "Dammit Cas what are you doing out here?!" He asked walking over to Cas. 

  
**********************************  
  
  
When Dean walked over to Cas his heart slightly broke. He saw the love of his life freezing like hell, sitting on an odd park bench. "Damn you're cold like hell!" Dean stated when he put his hands onto Cas' shoulders. "Come on, let's get you somewhere warm and then you tell me why you're sitting out here." Dean told and took his bag, putting it into his impala. Then he walked back to Cas, helping him up. He was stiff like hell. His body parts were frozen to ice cubes probably. Dean decided just to pick up Cas to avoid pain. So Dean picked Cas up bridal stile and put him into the passenger seat of his impala. Then he got in himself and turned on the heat, looking over at Cas. Now he was actually able to see how his face looked like. His lips were blue from the cold. There was dried blood underneath his nose and his cheek was turning blue. Also he already got a black eye. "Who did this to you?!" Anger filled Dean's body. Castiel didn't reply though.   
"I'll drive you home." Dean stated but Castiel gripped his wrist, now also looking at Dean.  
"No." His voice was shaky.   
"Then I'm taking you home." It was the same thing just with another meaning. He was taking Cas home to him. For sure, why wouldn't he?   
Dean took an extra long route home, so Cas could warm up completely and so he wasn't shaking anymore. He pulled up in front of his house and Got out, taking Cas' bag from the bag and walking over to Cas, taking his hand while walking to the house, entering it. His father was still there but he didn't expect him to be still awake.  
  
"Is that him?" John asked nodding towards Cas.  
"Yes it is him. And I don't care what you're saying or anything, he's staying here for at least tonight." Dean stated, preparing for his father to go insane but he didn't.  
"Look Dean." John started, walking towards them. "I don't like it. I really don't like my sons liking guys or being with guys but I'm going to accept it. I know I can't change how you're feeling or anything and I know you're just going to keep doing what you're doing whether I like it or not so I'm just saying, I don't like it but I accept it." His father said. This made Dean speechless. Did these words really come out of his father's mouth?  
"Are you serious right now?" Dean asked, still not believing a thing.  
"Yes, I am Dean. Your mother finally opened up my eyes. You're still my son and it's not changing cause of your sexuality." A soft smile spread across John's face. Dean couldn't help it but he let Cas' hand go and walked up to his father hugging him. This was the first time he hugged him since he was six. John as well wrapped his arms around Dean pulling him closer and Dean could make out sniffing, coming from his mom in the back.   
"I think you both have some things to set straight." John smiled a little while letting Dean go. Dean turned to face Cas and nodded. Again he took Cas' hand and walked upstairs with him and into his room. Dean still didn't realise what just happened down there. But now he was going to focus on Cas and what happened to him. He soon realised now it was his lover sniffing and soon crying, breaking down to the ground. Dean rushed to him and pulled him into his arms. "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay." He whispered, pulling Cas closer.


	15. Happy Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a quite shorter chapter, but I didn't know what else to put in so I kept it like that.  
> Hope you enjoy reading!

While Cas was crying, Dean pulled him up and sat down on his bed with him, pulling him onto his lap.  
It took some time until Castiel calmed down and wasn't crying anymore.  
"Will you tell me what's wrong?" Dean asked carefully and got a nod as an answer. Cas took in a deep breath but didn't face Dean.   
  
"So you know, Anna took pictures of us and well yesterday she told our parents that I have a boyfriend, that it's you and that we've had sex. She showed them the picture afterwards as I said this wasn't true. And then my Dad came, he punched me and they threw me out. He said I'm not a part of this family anymore and now when I saw you and your Dad bonding again, everything just hit in like a truck. I tried to hide everything back down there. And then there's you.. I know what you might think but Dean, whatever is on your mind about me it's not true. I love you and this ain't just some stupid bet. I really love you and I tried to reach you but you never answered my calls or messages. I thought I had lost you, Dean." Cas whispered his last words.   
He was serious about anything and Dean was simply an ass towards Cas. And his parents? They didn't even deserve to have an angel as a child.   
"You will never lose me, Cas. And you can stay here, we won't kick you out." Dean told him and kissed Cas' forehead, making him raise his head and looking straight into Dean's eyes.  
  
"Really?" Cas asked. A little form of hope in his eyes.  
  
"Really." Dean smiled and kissed his boyfriend. Cas returned the kiss with pleasure but soon enough Dean broke the kiss and stood up.   
  
"I will patch you up a little." He said getting a first aid kit.   
Dean carefully cleaned the dried blood under Cas' nose and a little cut on his cheek, caused by the amount of punches. Then he stitched the little cut up and put some sort of cream onto his red-blue cheek, which made the bruises disappear faster. When he was done he put back the aid kit and went over to his wardrobe to grab some clothes to sleep.   
  
"You should change, too. I doubt that you want to sleep in that clothes." Dean smiled while undressing himself and putting on some sweatpants and an oversized shirt. He felt Cas' eyes on his body while changing. "I hope you enjoyed the show but now it's your turn." Dean teased him a little since Cas was still only sitting on his bed doing nothing. When Dean sat down, Cas finally got up and walked over to his bag to see what he could find. When Dean noticed that Cas obviously didn't find anything he giggled a little. "You know, just take something from me." He told and first Castiel glanced at Dean but then turned to the wardrobe, going through his clothes. He took out some boxers and Dean's favourite shirt. A smirk appeared on Dean's face when he noticed and he watched his boyfriend change. Dean already laid down and made some space for Castiel to join him, what he did soon after. Dean put his arm around him, big spooning Cas.   
  
"You're wearing my favourite shirt." Dean grinned and whispered into Cas' ear, making Cas shiver.  
  
"I-I can change." Castiel was about to stand up again but Dean held him down.  
  
"No, no it's fine. You look hot in it." Dean grinned slowly beginning to kiss Cas' neck. He didn't even know why there was sudden lust filling his body. Dean's hand slowly wandered down to Cas' boxers just about to slip into it but Cas gripped his hand and placed it back to his chest.  
  
"I'm on my period." Castiel said, being completely honest.  
  
"You're not a girl, Cas." Dean stated, looking at his boyfriend.  
  
"I'm just not in the mood. I only want to sleep." Cas now murmured, closing his eyes.  
  
"Okay. Good night, I love you." Dean kissed his cheek before also closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
The next morning Dean awoke by the sweet smell of pancakes. Sleepy he rubbed his eyes and soon saw Cas still sleeping peaceful. A smile crossed his face and even though he didn't want to, he decided to wake him up so he wouldn't miss this great breakfast. Softly Dean planted kisses all over Cas face but he just turned around, cuddling himself into the blanket.   
  
"Okay if you want it the hard way." Dean grinned and laid Cas onto his back, ripping the blanket away and sitting down onto his hips, starting to tickle him.   
Soon Cas started laughing and moving everywhere, trying to get Dean off of him until both of them fell of the bed, Cas on top of Dean. Dean rubbed the back of his head but grinned at Cas.  
  
"Are you awake now?" He smirked and Cas only nodded.  
  
"Let's get down and eat breakfast. My mother's pancakes are the best." Dean smiled, gently pushing Cas off and standing up, helping Cas stand up as well afterwards.  
They didn't change into some different clothes, they just walked downstairs, wearing what they were wearing.   
  
When they reached the dining room, hand in hand by the way, Sam and John were sitting at the dining table already. When Sam saw them both holding hands, his eyes went wide and he looked at John, who just smiled though. "Don't worry, Sammy. We sorted things out." Dean smiled to explain, why their father wasn't going at him. Together with Cas, Dean sat down and soon after Mary brought a plate full of pancakes. "Good morning, boy. Cas did you sleep good?" She asked smiling, while handing everyone one pancake first.   
  
"I slept great. Thanks, Mrs. Winchester." Castiel smiled shyly.  
  
"I thought we already talked about the fact that you can call me Mary." Castiel only nodded. It was quite cute how shy he was around Dean's family. Normally he was powerful, teasing and everything but he also had his quiet, emotional phases. Everyone was eating, having great talks. It was just like when they were little. Just that now a few years have gone by and Cas and Dean were boyfriends.   
  
"So Sammy, has there been anyone in your sight yet?" Dean teased him a little. He knew it wasn't easy for Sam to make contacts or even find someone to love but he still had hope.   
  
"Well... I'm dating Gabriel." Sam admitted and with his answer, both Cas and Dean choked on their food, causing Mary and John to laugh. They didn't say anything though.  
  
"Wait, did you know this already?" Dean asked facing Mary and John. Both of them nodded. "Sam, I thought you were coming to me first, when you found someone, why didn't you talk to me?" Dean was disappointed but then grinned.  
  
"Well, you were too busy kissing around with Castiel." Sam grinned. Dean then looked at Cas, who was still in shock. While everyone else was laughing, his face was honest, his laugh long gone.   
  
"Excuse us for a moment." Dean said before standing up, pulling Cas with him.   
  
"Don't you worry okay? Nothing is going to happen to Gabriel. I will talk to Sam about it and I promise you that he will be safe." Dean whispered, cupping Cas' face in his hands.  
  
"But what if my parents find out?" Cas voice was full of worry.  
  
"They won't. I promise. Everything will be fine." Dean pressed a soft kiss onto Cas' lips and then took Cas' hands into his.  
  
"Let's go back and finish breakfast." Dean whispered against Cas' lips before joining his family back at the dining table.


	16. Time for a talk

"Hey Sammy, can we talk to you after breakfast?" Dean asked him to make sure he wouldn't disappear without knowing. Sam glanced at Dean and Cas, clearly being confused. "Uh.. Sure." He stated before continuing to eat.  
"Is everything alright?" Mary then asked. Both, her and John, looked at Dean waiting for an answer.  
"Uh yeah, just some brother to brother.. plus boyfriend talk." Dean shrugged but smiled. Mary nodded and John still looked sceptical but decided not to question it.  
Before talking to Sam, Cas and Dean decided to help Mary out making the dishes.  
"Come on Sammy." Dean said when they finished and walked upstairs and into his room. Everyone entered and Cas closed the door behind them.  
Dean and Cas sat down onto Dean's bed and Sam sat on the ground in front of him. Already noticing how stressed out Cas was, Dean took his hand to calm him down.  
"So what is it?" Sam asked, looking at both of them.  
"Well, I don't know if you know Cas' sister Anna but anyways. So you know they threw this party and well Cas and I enjoyed our time together and well went a too far for our situation probably. Well When we woke up Anna came in, she said she was going to tell Castiel's parents that he is gay and in a relationship with me. And two days ago it was I think, Anna told them. " Dean stopped before continuing to talk and glanced at his boyfriend, who just nodded to tell him to move on. Dean squeezed his hand a little and turned to Sammy again. "His father has beaten him and then they threw him out. He was in the cold until I took him home yesterday. And you know, Cas is worried about Gabriel. He doesn't want the same thing to happen to him so I'm asking you to please just stay careful, don't let you be seen in like relationship ways and don't let you guys be seen together by Anna okay?" Dean's voice was strict. He wanted his brother to be careful, to look out. He felt the body of his boyfriend shaking and wrapped his arms around him.  
"Oh god.. I'm so sorry Cas! Does Gabriel know that you've been kicked out?" Sam asked, looking at Cas, who just shook his head.  
"We need to tell him!" Sam stated, jumping up.  
"Sammy wait. We will tell him but not just now. Let the family calm down a little. Cas is going to stay with us as long as he needs it." Dean told his brother, who only nodded and then hugged Cas.  
"We will be there for you." Sam gave him a warm smile which caused Cas to actually also drop a small smile.

  
  
****************************

  
  
Gabriel got called down for dinner. When he went into the dining room, he noticed Castiel not being there, which was a little strange to him. It was the second day in a row that Cas wasn't there actually. Probably he was out for dinner with Dean. So Gabriel took a seat and waited for everyone to get something to eat. It was unusual quiet. Nobody said a thing. Well they never did anyways but when Gabriel was around, they used to talk at least a little. Gabe looked at his sister, who looked kind of down. Probably some crisis she was going through. Then he glanced at Balthazar. His face was hard to read. He didn't show any emotion. Gabriel shrugged to himself and started eating. This silence killed him.  
"Where's Cas?" Gabriel then finally asked. His father looked up from his plate and Gabe noticed Anna choking and then coughing.  
"He's staying at your aunt's house for this long weekend. He thought it was time to visit your aunt again." His father explained, not showing too much emotion.  
"Oh okay. Sad he didn't tell me. I would've loved to see her again as well." Gabriel pouted.  
"Next time, sweetie." His mother smiled softly. Gabriel only nodded and continued eating.  
Today it was his task to clean the dishes so he collected all the plates, when they finished eating and went into the kitchen. While cleaning the plates and everything he heard is siblings whispering. Gabriel couldn't make out everything but he heard a "We have to tell him." from Anna and a "That's stupid, come on we can't tell him, this won't go good." from Balthazar. He just decided to not think about it too much and continued cleaning the plates.  
Afterwards Gabriel walked into his room, sticking a sucker into his mouth and taking out his phone texting Sam.  
  
_Ayo Samwich._ \- 7:58 PM

 **Hey Gabe. What's up?** \- 8:00 PM

 _Just sitting around, bein' sad that Cas didn't tell me he's visiting our auntie.:(_ \- 8:01 PM

 _Hey Samwhich, you there? Entertain me, I'm bored._ \- 8:19 PM

 **Uh sorry, was helping out my Mom. I'm sure you get to visit her next time.** \- 8:49 PM

 _Yeah probably. Can I come over on Sunday? Our parents invited some friends and they annoy me, I don't want to see them._ \- 8:52 PM

 **Uhm sure, just come over anytime you want then. I got to go Gabe, talk to you tomorrow. I love you.** \- 8:53 PM

 _I love you, too._ \- 8:54 PM

 

Gabriel smiled to himself when Sam told him he loved him. Every time he said that, Gabriel's mind went back to the day, they admitted their love to each other.

 

 _"Where are you taking me?" Sam groaned, being tired of walking too much. "You will see! Just wait for it." Gabriel smiled and continued walking through the forest and onto the huge field of roses that was hidden in the middle of the forest._  
"Hey wait, cover your eyes, I'm guiding you." Gabriel smirked when he stopped in front of Sam, causing him to bump into the smaller one. Sam just shrugged and placed his hands in front of his eyes. Gabriel was actually really happy that Sam trusted him that much. He always knew that they had this kind of bond between them. Gabriel grabbed Sam by his arm and guided him to the field of roses carefully. He walked into the middle of it and let go off Sam.  
"You can open your eyes now." Gabriel smiled widely and looked at Sam, waiting for his reaction.  
Slowly Sam took away his hands and opened his eyes looking around. His eyes widened and a huge smile spread across his face until his eyes met Gabriel's.  
"This is beautiful, Gabriel.!" He stated, still smiling widely.  
"Just as beautiful, as you are." Gabriel blushed a little at speaking out these words. Sam blushed even more.  
"Thank you." He said shyly. Both of them sat down and kept quiet. It wasn't an awkward silence. It was beautiful. Just the two of them nobody else. But then the reason, Gabriel took him here came to his mind again. He wanted to tell Sam how he actually felt towards him. Sam probably didn't feel the same way but Gabriel didn't want to hide it any longer so he decided to just tell him.  
Gabe picked up a rose and then glanced at the boy next to him, who he apparently fell in love with. Every day they spent together was just beautiful to Gabriel. It has been a long time since he had that much fun with someone else than his brothers or his sister.  
He felt like around Sam he could be himself without worrying about it. He didn't really believe in such things but he was quite sure that he found his soul mate in Sam. That would explain this strong bond between them. The way they can spend time together not worrying about a thing. The way they would not say a thing and it still wouldn't be awkward just like now.  
"Sam?" Gabriel harrumphed. The boy with those hazel eyes turned his head to face Gabriel with a smile.  
"I've wanted to tell you this for quite a while and that's also why I took you here. Well, Sam. I always enjoy being around you and lately I noticed that there is something more I feel for you." He stopped and held the rose towards Sam. "Sam. I love you." Gabriel's eyes didn't escape once from Sam's. He wanted to know his reaction. His face. He wanted to read his mind by just looking at him. Sam tried to say something but he couldn't get out a word. Instead he leaned forward to Sam and pressed his lips onto Gabe's. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sunday luckily hit in faster than expected. Gabriel looked forward to see Gabriel again. He was kind of sad cause Castiel wasn't around. Normally he used to talk to him every night before he went to bed but now he couldn't and to admit, he slept worse. But today he would come back. He only stayed at his aunt's house for the weekend so he had to come back today. Gabriel put on some of his favourite clothes and sneaked some candy into his pockets. Then he put his hair back and ran downstairs.  
"I'm going to Sam's now. See you later!" Gabriel yelled before running outside and jumping onto his bike, making his way to the Winchester's house.  
Gabriel placed his bike next to the stairs and rang the bell. Sam's mother opened the door, smiling at Gabriel. "Come in." She said stepping aside. Gabriel entered the room but there Sam wasn't to be seen anywhere. Neither Dean was seen.  
"Take a seat in the living room. I will have to wake up Sam, since you're pretty early." She smiled walking upstairs. Gabriel did as she said and took a seat on the couch of the living room. He had to admit that their home was beautiful. It was simple and maybe not as fancy as the Novak's house but it simply seemed more comfortable. He noticed footsteps behind him and turned around, where he faced Sam's father. After what happened the other night he was still a little scared.  
"Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything. I decided to accept and support my sons with their relationships." His father smiled and walked into the kitchen. Gabriel only nodded. He was surprised by the sudden change of Sam's father.  
"Gabriel!!" He heard Sam shouting happily. Gabe turned his head to face Sam and jumped up, holding out his arms. Sam ran towards him and almost jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly and then kissing him. This was the first time they actually didn't see each other every day. But now he was even more glad to see his boyfriend.  
So Sam and Gabe sat down again and started watching some Sherlock. Until two other persons entered the room to get into the kitchen. Gabriel was shocked when he saw Cas.  
"Cas? I thought you're at our aunts house!" Gabriel stated jumping up.  
Dean and Cas, who just joined the room, looked at him in surprise.  
"Uh.. Sort of." Cas rubbed his neck avoiding to look at his brother.  
"I guess we got to have a little talk." Dean said.  
"Well then we finally want to be included in that talk as well." Mary said, joined by John. So Gabriel wasn't the only one not knowing what was going on.


	17. Clearing things up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what I've wanted to tell you is that I'm probably uploading every two days or something cause I'm seriously stressed because of school lately. Also I've got two of my main classes exams next week which means I've got to study a lot so I probably won't have the time two write but in two weeks I'm off to autumn vacation so I will be able to write a lot more then!
> 
> Also I think this chapter got quite boring.. If you got any ideas or wishes, just write them in the comments and I will see how I will be able to get them into the story or not!  
> Enjoy reading! x

Castiel was shocked when he saw Gabriel in the living room. Couldn't Sam tell them that Gabriel was coming? Well maybe his parents made up a good excuse why he wasn't home. But when he heard that his parents told him he was at his aunt's house, he knew he was trapped. He had to explain it but he couldn't. Maybe Dean could. He always helped him out. Luckily. But when Dean's parents came around to also finally get to know what's been going on, Castiel wanted to escape, he wanted to disappear. Dean took his hand in his and squeezed it a little and kissed his cheek afterwards.  
"I can tell them if you don't feel ready for it, but you know someday you have to talk about it. It's going to bother you a lot otherwise." Dean said and Castiel only nodded. He knew Dean was right and so he decided to try it. Cas knew he could count on Dean if he didn't know how to continue. The family and the Novak's brothers decided to sit down in the dining room, since there weren't enough seats in the living room. Dean rested his hand on Cas' thigh, drawing little circles with his thumb. It helped him relax a lot.  
"Well... Dean and I are a couple. And my parents are really strict. They say we betray them if we love our same gender.. The other day, my sister threw a party... Dean was also there and we decided not to hide on this party.. we went a little further than we might should have. The next morning my sister Anna threatened me to show pictures of Dean and me to my parents, exposing that I'm bisexual and also showing them that I'm still being with Dean even though they said I should stay away because I was having a real hard time when you left." Castiel couldn't continue for now. It was like there was something stuck in his throat which kept him from talking. Hopelessly he glanced at Dean, who understood his look. Luckily.  
  
"And the other day she showed those pictures to their parents. They did some things to him, which is the reason for his look, when I took him here and worst of all, they kicked him out. And told him he isn't a part of the family anymore. He was out in the cold with nothing for two days but I found him and took him home. And Gabriel, the reason we didn't tell you yet is that we don't want you to get hurt. We informed Sammy to keep save and don't let you get caught around Anna or your parents. I hope you understand." Dean finished the story. Meanwhile Castiel faced the ground. He couldn't look up at anyone, even though he felt the eyes of people burning on him.   
"They kicked you out?! Oh they will get to hear something! You are coming back home!" Gabriel's voice filled with anger.   
"Take me with you, when you're dropping these kids off. I'm going to have a talk with Mr. and Mrs. Novak." Dean's father suddenly said. Everyone looked at him with a surprised expression. From everything Cas knew that John wasn't happy about his sons being gay and he didn't know if he was happy that Castiel and Gabriel were still here. But how would it end up if John talked to his parents? Cas was sure it wouldn't be good for his and Dean's relationship or Sam and Gabriel's when John went insane.  
"What's wrong? I'm in the same situation as your parents. I would rather see my boys around with some girls but if that's what makes them happy, I'll leave them like that." John explained and everyone just nodded. Then silence hit the room. six people sitting there and everyone was quiet.   
"Well go in the evening. Mom and Dad invited some friends over and they're annoying like hell so I don't want to be there right now. Even though I'd love to show them how gay I am." Gabriel nearly hissed before Sam and him left.   
Mary stood up and rested her hands on Cas' shoulders. "If you ever need an escape or someone to go to, we're always here for you, Castiel." She smiled softly. Cas felt tears filling up his eyes and he looked over at John who just nodded in agreement. Now he couldn't hold back the tears anymore and luckily Dean pulled him into his lap, wrapping his arms tight around Cas.  
"We're always there for you, baby." Dean kissed the top of his head and Castiel could his cheeks getting hot, when Dean called him baby. He never called him like that before. It made him feel a little better but he still couldn't stop crying.

  
***********************************  
  
  
Sooner than expected the evening turned in. Now it was the time to face their parents. They all sat into the Impala. Dean and his father in the front, Gabriel, Sam and Castiel squeezed in the back. Gabriel was still filled with anger just thinking about what his parents did to Castiel. "What if they kick you out as well?" Castiel asked worried.  
"They won't. I'm their little favourite. Why would they kick out their little favourite?" Gabriel smirked a little. He noticed the hurt in Castiel though. It didn't take long until they arrived at the Novak's. It was kind of funny how they showed up with five persons. Gabriel unlocked the door and walked in, holding the door open for everyone to enter. He closed the door behind the last person and entered the living room, where his parents, Anna and Balthazar were sitting. The group of people following him.   
"What is this faggot doing here?! I thought we made it clear that we don't want to see this failure again!" His father yelled and stood up. Just then he realized that John Winchester stood there in their living room. "Winchester." He said emotionless. "Novak." John tipped his head and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"It's sick how you're acting around your own child! You do know that he is bisexual and it is natural! He is still your son and you've got no right to treat him like shit! You wanna know something? I am gay! Yes, I am gay and I've got a boyfriend! I've got my beloved Sam Winchester! And you know what as well? I don't care what you are thinking! Come on kick me out, show everyone that you're horrible parents. Who gave you the right to treat any of your children like that? You raised us and loved us. This doesn't change only because your son is bisexual or gay. You should worry about things Anna does or Balthazar but believe me, Castiel and I are the one that have never done anything bed." Gabriel hissed. He noticed that Castiel wanted to escape but he heard Dean whisper to him.  
"How dare you.. You are unworthy. Both of you!" His father yelled stepping forward but John stepped in front of Gabriel, not letting anything happen. "James." His mother whined from the back.   
  
"Listen, I'm not a fan of my sons being gay as well but I'm accepting it. They are still my sons after all. I don't like it but I live with it. It is their life and as soon as they're adults they're anyways doing what they want. You should accept it as well. You owe them. They are your own flesh and blood. You can't just abandon them." John said and it seriously seemed like there was some change going on in his father's mind. Gabriel was still surprised by the support they got from John but he was happy about it.   
When Gabriel looked at his older brother and sister they just watched the event with a shocked expression. They never expected their little brother to speak out like this. Neither did Gabriel but he did.  
"Fine this shitbag can stay. These shitbag's can stay but stay out of my sight." Their father mumbled . Gabriel didn't let himself tell that twice. He showed his brother and the Winchester boys to follow him up. Also followed by Anna and Balthazar. John was still going to have a talk to the Novak's parents. Nobody of them wanted to be down there for this time.


	18. A ruined family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than usual but the reason is that I'm not feeling well today. There are some things in my family going on and school is close to push me from the edge. I will probably make up to that tomorrow or in two days, maybe with some smut? Who knows!  
> Enjoy reading! x

Together with Castiel, Gabriel and Sam, Dean entered Castiel's room. Before they entered Balthazar and Anna rushed into the room, receiving weird faces. Gabriel closed the door and everyone just stood there awkwardly. A room filled with teens. What a great view. Balthazar went over to hug Castiel, but Cas didn't return the hug.   
"Cas.. I'm so sorry.. I didn't want-" Anna started but was interrupted by Cas.  
"No. You're not sorry. You knew exactly where this was leading to and you anyways did it. You can leave, I don't want to see you." Castiel said coldly. Anna stood there in shock. Tears filled her eyes. But Castiel was right. She knew what she was doing. She knew it.  
"You've done things like that for a while now. You always made it hard for me. Because of you I can't live my life as a teenager. Whenever our parents are gone I have to watch out for Lucifer and Michael. You just care for yourself. I wanted to go out with Hannah, I wanted to spend some time alone with her, damn I wanted to do a whole lot of things with her, which I couldn't because it was always me taking care of everything. It was always me, who had to look out for our brother, to see how we get through. You never cared. And when you came back you did everything to make my life worse. Because of you I wasn't allowed to see Dean anymore. Because of you it even got to this situation. Don't you realise it?" Dean had never seen Cas like that. He was hurt and angry at the same time. But when he mentioned Hannah and all the things he wanted to do with her, Dean felt a little ache in his chest.  
But what was he worrying about? Castiel was his now. There was nothing he should worry about. Anna then just left the room sobbing. Balthazar followed her since he guessed he wasn't wanted here at the moment as well.  
So it was only Gabriel, Cas, Sam and Dean again. "Do you think things will get better again?" Sam asked, breaking the silence. Gabriel and Cas only shrugged. Dean guessed that they would know in time. But for now there was nothing they could do than wait. Dean slowly pulled Cas into his arms as he noticed him sobbing. "Everything is going to be okay. You can always come to us, remember." Dean told him softly, kissing his temple. Cas only nodded.  
  
After quite some time a knock came from the door and John entered soon after. "Let's head home. Mary is probably already waiting." He smiled softly and leaving again.   
"If anything happens, call me. I will get you out of here as well okay?" Dean looked straight into Cas' eyes, who just nodded again before Dean pressed his lips onto Cas'.  
"The same counts for you, Gabe." Dean turned to Gabriel as he left Cas' lips.   
"I know." The small kid just grinned and pecked Sam's lips.   
Sam and Dean walked downstairs, turning their head's to the living room, where only the mother of the Novak's was sitting. She smiled softly at the boys and stood up walking towards them.   
"I know my husband is still not convinced but I accept it as well. I will do everything so Castiel and Gabriel can be happy with you." She whispered. Tears were filling her eyes. A simple "Hmpf" left Dean's mouth before he left the house. He heard Sam saying something but he couldn't tell what. His father was already waiting outside the impala and got in when Dean got in as well. They waited for Sam until they drove home.  
  


******************  
  


When Dean left Castiel felt quite empty. He felt lonely. All of the other day he knew that there was someone who was going to wrap his arms around him if he was feeling bad but now there was no one. He would probably imagine his mother to hug him and tell him that everything is going to be okay but after everything he didn't think that she would ever do that again.   
Gabriel left as soon as Sam and Dean left. Okay Cas told him that he could leave, even if Gabriel asked a few times to make sure he was alright. Right in the moment Cas wanted to lay down into his bed, his door opened. An angry father appearing.   
He held a bottle of beer in his hand and walked up to Castiel. "Don't think that you're even a part of this family you bag of shit. You're a disgrace for this family. You should be ashamed to be in this house again and believe me you will be punished till he day I die." His father hissed and threw his bottle after Cas, which he luckily moved out of the way from before it hit him. Then his father walked to him and grabbed Cas by the hem of Cas' shirt and threw him into the ground. He started kicking Cas multiple times. Castiel didn't move, he decided to just live through it and let it happen to him. After a few minutes his father let go of him.  
"Now to your brother." He huffed and suddenly Cas felt adrenaline rushing through his body. He had to do something. He couldn't let his little brother get hurt.   
"No! Leave him alone! Let it out on my, punish me but leave him in peace, please!" Castiel begged. He expected himself to sound stronger but he sounded much weaker. "What does the fag say?" His father turned around facing Castiel. But he didn't let Cas tell him twice and he let it out all the way on Cas again.  
When he left, Castiel huddled together starting to cry. He heard the door open again and two weak arms wrap around him. When he opened his eyes, he saw his mother looking at him. She was crying as well. It seemed like she noticed everything but for now Castiel was quite happy that his mother was there for him. Holding him in her arms just as she used to when he was a kid.   
Castiel still was a kid. Just a little older and a lot more broken.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ///// SMUT CONTENT /////
> 
> So here is some (lame) smut as an excuse for the smaller chapter the other day and no chapter yesterday.  
> I believe that this fic is coming to an end cause I'm running out of ideas. I've got a few left but those won't be filling a lot of chapters so we will see how many more there will be.  
> Enjoy reading!

It has been a few weeks since the Novak's incident. Castiel was still at his family's house and it didn't seem like there were any problems.  
Dean was already looking forward to this weekend because Castiel would finally stay over at the Winchester's after a while. Only seeing Castiel at school made Dean miss him a lot. He had a lot of stuff to take care of with his family. There have been quite a lot things going on. Castiel wouldn't talk about it but Dean decided not to push him. If Cas didn't want to talk about it, it was fine.   
After school Dean went to catch Castiel before he could think about going to Dean twice. Of course Dean didn't want to force Castiel to anything but he simply missed his boyfriend.   
So Dean hid behind a tree waiting for his boyfriend to pass by. Soon the black haired boy passed the tree and Dean grabbed his wrist, pulling him into his arms. The smaller boy was surprised but a small smile built up on his face when he saw Dean.  
"Hey." Dean smiled and pecked his lips.  
"Hello Dean." Castiel's smile was warm and soft but Dean decided not to spend any more time at that odd tree and pulled Cas to his Baby. Sam and Gabriel were going to the Novak's for a school project so he wouldn't be back until dinner was done probably. John has been on a business trip again and since it was Friday Mary was going out with some friends again. So Castiel and Dean had some time for themselves which Dean seemed to figure out to finally get close to Castiel again.  
After the party they never had had sex again. Dean still remembered every single touch of Castiel and he wanted to feel his touch again.  
Their ride home was quite. It didn't bother them though. Their silence was comfortable and just the presence of each other made them enjoy the ride. Even though that Dean could notice there was something going on with Castiel. He was sure that he would tell him soon enough though.

  
  
Dean pulled into the driveway and both of them made their way up into the house. The Winchester's house hasn't been that quiet in a while. Nothing but the footsteps of Castiel and Dean could be heard. When Castiel and Dean put away their jackets and took off their shoes, they made their way into Dean's room. Out of every room they had for themselves they chose Dean's room. Both of them laid down on Dean's bed.  
Dean's head resting on Castiel's chest, breathing in his sweet scent was one of the most beautiful things Dean ever did. Slowly Dean started lifting himself up, kissing Cas.  
With pleasure the black haired boy returned the kiss. Soon after things got a little heated. Dean sat down onto Cas' thighs and leant forward to kiss his neck, while slowly lifting up his sweater. Then he figured out that Cas was as well wearing a shirt underneath that. He must've been sweating like hell. Fast Dean pulled the sweatshirt above Cas' head and threw it to the ground. He noticed a bandage on Castiel's hand and a little further than his wrist. He didn't notice before because Cas' hands were always pulled inside of his sleeves. "What have you done?" Dean whispered against his skin while still planting kisses onto Cas' neck.  
"PE." Castiel shortly said. That was explanation enough. Dean was surprised he didn't really get hurt at football yet. Every once in a while a contused body part but besides that nothing. Just as Dean wanted to pull up Cas' shirt as well, the boy laying underneath him gripped his hands to make him stop. "I smell, don't want you to die of it." Castiel smiled a little. "Fine for now." Dean murmured, crashing his lips onto Cas' afterwards. Dean started unbuttoning Cas pants and pulling them down afterwards.   
It didn't take long until Dean was in his boxers only and Cas in his boxers plus shirt.   
"You sure you don't want to take off the shirt?" Dean moaned lightly against Cas' ear while rubbing his already grown erection against Cas. His boyfriend simply answered with a nod and Dean kissed his way down to take off Cas' and his own boxers. This time he would be top and he would show Cas how much he loved him.   
Dean spit Cas' legs and laid down between them, moving them a little so it would be easier for him to enter. He put to fingers inside of his mouths and licked them quickly before slowly pushing them into Cas, while still rubbing his own member with the other hand. Dean widened Cas, leaving him to give out a few quiet moans. Slowly he picked up the pace of his fingers thrusting in and out of Cas.

  
"Please.. Please Dean." Castiel whined. Dean knew exactly what he wanted and so he pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his hard erection, leaving a moan while entering Cas. Slowly he pushed in until he completely filled him and bent over, placing his hands next to Cas' head to support his weight. Meanwhile Cas had wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, giving him more room to move deeper. When Castiel adjusted to Dean's length, he started moving in a slow and steady pace. Time after time his thrust turned faster and harder, leaving a lot of marks on Castiel's neck. Their lips meeting each other every once in a while. Teeth clenching against each other. Hot breath meeting hot breath. Moans coming out of their mouths. Dean started jerking Castiel off to his thrusts to make it possible for both of them to cum at almost the same time. And so it was.   
Dean reached his high giving him a few more thrusts and spilling his load inside of Cas, still jerking him off until Cas reached his orgasm and came onto his shirt.   
Both of them tried to catch their breath as Dean pulled out and dropped himself next to Cas.  
"I love you." He whispered still unable to breathe steady.   
"I love you, too." Castiel smiled at Dean.

  
When they finally relaxed again, Dean noticed that Cas' shirt was ruined and decided to give him one of his shirts. So he walked over to his wardrobe and took out a new pair of boxers, for himself, and two shirts. He got dressed himself and walked over to Castiel, who was already sitting in his boxers as well.   
"Wear this one." Dean said putting the shirt aside before pulling Cas shirt up. He noticed that Cas obviously didn't want him to and as he saw Cas' exposed body he knew why.  
"Who did this?" Dean hissed through his teeth while inspecting the bruises on his body.   
"My father." Castiel whispered, avoiding any eye-contact.  
"Give me your hand." Dean now ordered. He knew the story from earlier about PE wasn't true.   
"Dean.." Castiel tried to avoid this but he couldn't.  
"Give me your hand, Castiel." Normally Dean wouldn't push Castiel to something but this was different. He wanted to know when his father did wrong to him and it kind of hurt Dean to know Castiel wasn't being 100 percent honest with him. Slowly Castiel reached out his hand to Dean. Gently Dean placed it into his lap and took off the bandage on his hand and wrist and discovered scars.   
"Did he do that to you or did you do it?" Dean could feel his eyes fill with tears as he saw what things happened to Cas and what things he probably did to himself.  
"I did." Castiel murmured, almost unable for Dean to hear.   
With that Dean felt tears escaping his eyes and he pulled the boy he loved into a tight hug.   
"We are going to get through this. We will make you be fine. Everything's going to be okay." Dean sniffed while pulling Cas even closer.  
When he calmed himself a little, Dean pulled away and planted kisses on every place Castiel was injured. As if it would heal his wounds. He knew it didn't but maybe it would ease the pain for now.


	20. And suddenly everything changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before you start reading this chapter, I wanted to thank everyone who is currently reading this. Even if I don't get much feedback, I hope you all enjoy this story!  
> So I told you that I was running out of ideas and the way things are going on in my head this story will probably have two more chapters. I hope you aren't mad at me for that but I just can't find anything new for this anymore.  
> Also I probably won't be uploading from Tuesday to Friday (Maybe I'll upload on friday) cause my next days are stuffed with exams and studying for exams. I hope you understand!
> 
> And one last thing. I started a oneshot Tumblr and would love to drop some oneshots based on requests so if you want anything to read and have a special desire, feel free to request it to my blog! http://desiringspnimagines.tumblr.com/
> 
> Now you can start reading!

**(Please read notes in the beginning if you skipped it)**

 

When both Cas and Dean were dressed again, Dean laid down together with Cas. He pulled the black haired boy towards himself and wrapped his arms tight around him.  
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Dean whispered, gently running his thumb up and down Cas' back.  
"I was scared... And I didn't want to bother you." Castiel explained quietly. Dean was shocked by Cas' answer. Why would he think that he would bother Dean? That was not true.  
"You would never bother me, Cas. I told you that I'm going to be there for you no matter what and I'm being honest with that." Dean told, he raised Castiel's chin up so he was looking at Dean now.  
"I love you, Cas. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you." He softly pecked his lips, receiving a warm smile from Cas.  
"Thank you, Dean." Castiel mumbled before his eyes got sleepy and he drifted to sleep in Dean's arms. He slept so peaceful. It almost looked like he didn't sleep well for quite some time. But for now he was with Dean and there would be nothing he would have to worry about.

 

~~~~~~

 

It was Sunday already and the days went by faster than expected but Dean and Cas could convince his mother at least to let him stay a little longer. So he was staying at the Winchester's for the whole upcoming week. It was great to see how Castiel slowly recovered from all the stress and pain and slowly got better. Of course only physically. Mentally he was still broken but Dean tried his best to fix him. They spent a lot of time without each other as well though. They decided it was the best for both of them to leave them some time by their own for at least an hour. And if they needed something they always knew where to find each other.   
  
The late afternoon broke in as the doorbell suddenly rang. The Winchester's didn't expect anyone to come so they were slightly confused. Sam, Dean and Cas sat in the living room while Mary went to open the door.   
"Oh Gabriel. Didn't expect you to come. Come in." She invited him in. By his name mentioned all three heads turned to face the door that lead into the hallway.  
"Where is Cas?" The younger Novak asked out of breath.  
"In the living room. Come on." Mary guided Gabriel to the living room. Now all three boys faced him. His face was all red and sweaty. He was still trying to catch his breath while sitting onto armchair in the living room.  
"What's wrong?" Castiel asked his younger brother with an confused gaze.   
"Didn't you read the messages or get the calls?" Gabriel now finally talked as his breathing calmed down.  
Castiel only shook his head in confusion. "It's upstairs. Dean told me to leave it there to get some space from it." He explained.  
"Dad had a car accident last night. He was driving drunk. The hospital called and said he didn't make it. There was also another victim hospitalised but he could be saved apparently. Dad is dead, Cas. And Mom told me she wanted to tell us something." Gabriel explained.   
Castiel's eyes widened in shock and you saw your whole family's eyes widening as well.  
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry boys." Mary said in shock as the telephone rang. She stood up to get it and soon after she brought out crying. Dean rushed up and to his mother to wrap his arms around her.   
"What's wrong mom?" He asked, his voice full of worry. He already expected the worst since he heard about Castiel's fathers accident.   
"The other person.. It was John.. He's in the hospital." She cried out.  
"Shh Mom. It's okay. It's going to be okay." Dean whispered into her ear, calming her down.   
Everyone in this room could feel the shocked tension filling the room.  
"Gabriel, Castiel? I'm dropping you off at your house to let you talk to your mother. Sammy, Mom? We will drive right away to Dad then. I will come over to you guys when we sorted things out and I'll still pick you up afterwards if you still want to stay here, babe." Dean explained his whole plan to his family and the Novak's. Everyone agreed. Well they couldn't do much about it.   
  
Castiel and Mary sat in the front seats of the Impala. Castiel, Sam and Gabriel squeezed into the backseat. It didn't take long for Dean to pull up at the Novak's house cause he found a route which didn't take as long as the normal route he would have to drive to get to the Novak's.   
"I'll see you later." Dean kissed Cas before he and Gabriel left. Now they headed to the hospital to see how their father, husband was doing.

 

*****************

 

"You really have no idea what she wants to tell us?" Castiel asked Gabriel on their way inside. The younger brother just shook his head as a no. When they entered the house, they heard their mother sniffing and another manly voice comforting her.   
Castiel and Gabriel both entered the living room and saw a man kneeling beside their mother, running his hand up and down her leg.  
"Oh there you are. Good to catch you both." She smiled softly. A fake smile. "Sit down. I have to tell you something." She continued. Gabriel and Castiel glanced at each other with an confused expression but sat down. She looked at the man sitting next to her now, who just nodded. He was kind of familiar to Cas. He had probably seen him at family events before.   
"I know we.. I know I should've told you earlier. I just couldn't get it together. Your father.. well the person you called your father actually isn't your father. You're Zachariah's sons. I had an affair with him. Both of you and Michael and Lucifer are his sons. Your father did not notice and I was afraid to tell you in case he found out. I'm sorry Castiel, that he treated you his way. I'm so sorry but there isn't any reason you would forgive me." Their mother started crying again.   
Both, Gabriel's and Castiel's eyes widened and their jaws dropped open.   
"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you but it was for your and your mother's safety. But I will be there for you now. I know about both of your sexualities and I accept them and I will be happy to meet your boyfriends. You've got nothing to worry about anymore." The man said. Apparently Zachariah, their real father.  
Castiel didn't get it. All his life he saw and called some his father and now it was all a lie? The man who taught him a lot, lectured him for his misbehaviours, beaten him for his sexuality wasn't his father. He had punished Castiel without a right. Well even if he was his father, he did it without the right to. That was quite too much for Castiel to handle at this moment.   
"I'll go upstairs and call Dean... See how his father is doing.." He murmured and rushed upstairs, followed by his little brother.

 

*******************

 

It had been quite some time since the Winchester's arrived at the hospital. They were told to wait for the responsible doctor until they could see their father.   
It felt like ages to them and Mary was about to go crazy as he finally made his way towards them.  
"Family Winchester?" The doctor asked and Mary only nodded.  
"Your husband had a lot of luck. Maybe almost a guardian angel on his shoulder. Surprisingly he doesn't have any heavy injuries and he will be able to leave the hospital within a few days. He is sleeping at the moment but you can go in now." The doctor explained. Dean could literally feel how the pressure on Mary's chest dropped when she heard, that John was doing fine. Despite his injuries.  
All three of them went inside of John's room. He looked bad but it was clear to see that he didn't take much damage of that accident. Luckily.   
Even if Dean never used to have a great connection to his father, he got closer to him since he finally started accepting Dean and Sam the way they were.   
When Dean's phone rang he excused himself and walked out of the room picking up.  
"Cas?" He said when he picked up.  
"Can you please get me.. us.. out of here. I'm going crazy if I'm not going to be out of this house." Castiel's voice was shaky. Whatever it was. It must've been something bad.  
"I will pick you up in a few. Try to remain calm in that time. I love you." Dean said before hanging up and going back into the room to tell Sam and Mary he was going to get Gabriel and Castiel and bring them home. He would pay them a cab to get home.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Castiel nearly fell into Dean's arms when he rang at the door. Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Cas, pulling him even closer.   
"It's okay, Cas. I'm here." He whispered into his ear, planting kisses onto his head.  
"Can we please just leave?" Gabriel asked them. Both of them just nodded and they made their way up to the impala, driving to the Winchester's house.  
  
"So what's going on?" Dean asked when he handed both of them a cup of tea and a sandwich. He always did that when someone felt bad. He sat down in front of them, eyes jumping from person to person. Castiel started explaining the whole situation, to what Dean listened closely.  
"I'm so sorry for both of you. You deserved to know earlier." Dean said when Castiel finished talking.  
"How is your father doing?" Gabriel asked. The fact that it was their... well not Dad crashing into the Winchester's father was also still bothering both of the Novak's as if they drove the car into their father.   
"He's doing fine. Just some injuries but he will be able to leave the hospital in a few days." Dean smiled a little. The mood was already lightening up and the Novak's continued enjoying their Dean-created-Sandwich.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this wasn't quite what I was going for, I actually only planned that something happened to Castiel's father but somehow I also got John involved.   
> I hope you enjoyed reading!


	21. One last Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Sorry for not uploading in a while but I was pretty stressed out and busy with school!  
> As mentioned in the last chapter, next one is going to be the last one.  
> Are you excited??  
> Hope you won't hate me too much for this one!
> 
> And by the way if you want to read small stuff, go visit my writing Tumblr! You can leave any requests you want there!  
> Now have fun with this chapter!

Sam and Mary headed home later in the evening. Castiel and Gabriel calmed down when they got home and as soon as Sam was there, Gabriel disappeared with him.

"Could you both please also go upstairs?" Mary asked. Dean saw the pain in her eyes and he probably knew why she was asking this.

"I left you food in the fridge." Dean said and grabbed Castiel's hand, pulling him upstairs. It was a hard day for all of them and if Dean was honest, he didn't want to do anything than sleep.  
"Hey, I'm taking a shower, coming with me?" Dean asked and turned to Cas, while he picked out some clothes.

"I'll pass. Just gonna straight head to bed." Castiel yawned and changed into his sleeping clothes. Dean only nodded in reply and then left into the bathroom. Fast he pulled his clothes off and jumped underneath the shower.  
Cold water flooded down his body. Normally Dean wasn't the type to take cold showers but at this moment it was really relaxing for him. It was cooling his mind down. When he got out he rubbed himself dry but noticed he forgot his pants. So Dean wrapped his towel around his waist and walked over to his room. Just when he was about to enter, he heard sobbing from the inside. Dean walked in and saw Cas laying on the bed, rolled together, crying. Fast he rushed over to his boyfriend sitting down on the bed next to him.  
"Hey what's wrong?" Dean whispered when he pulled him into his arms.

"Everything's just too much." Castiel cried.

"Shh. It's okay. We'll fix this." Dean kissed his forehead and held him in his arms until Castiel fell asleep.  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  


A month has passed since the accident happened. Castiel was finally doing better and was able to sleep alone again. This was one of the first nights Dean and Cas actually slept in separated beds again. It was one of the first nights Dean was able to let Cas go home without feeling bad about it.

"Dean get up, pack the most important things, we'll leave in ten minutes." Dean heard his father say. When Dean faced the clock it said 1:53 AM. Just then he realised what was happening. Fast he sat up. "Dad you can't be serious! We can't leave!" Dean shouted.

"Pack your stuff boy. I will need every one of you." Was the last thing he heard his father say. Dean knew he didn't had a choice so when he got up, he got dressed and put his stuff together.  
When he walked downstairs he already saw Sam, Mary and John waiting. Dean glanced at his little brother, who didn't seem that sad at all.

"Did you tell Cas?" Sam asked Dean when they were driving in the Impala.

"No. We'll probably only be gone for a few days." Dean answered. He knew it could be many more than just a few days.

"You know that you should tell him? It's not fair if you don't." Sam glanced at his brother.

"Did you tell Gabriel?" Dean didn't reply to what Sam said before.

"Yes." Sam only answered and silence hit the Impala.  
  


***************************************  
  


"Sammy, get up. We have to leave for a job." The soft voice of his mother woke him up.

"Why?" Sam murmured sleepy.

"Your father needs our help." Mary kissed the top of Sam's head, taking the hair outside of his face.

"How long will it take?" Sam was now a little more awake.

"It could take a longer time. Tell Gabriel and make sure he knows." She said before leaving again. And so did Sam. He picked up his phone and went to his and Gabriel's chat.

_Gabe you awake?_ \- 01:35 AM

Sup Samwich?" - 01:36

_We have to leave for a job of my father. We won't be around for quite some time. I can't tell you yet how long we will be gone._ \- 01:36

**Oh.. okay. But will you come back?** \- 01:38

_Yes. I promise. But you should also promise something._ \- 01:39

**Great. I will wait for you. What is it?** \- 01:40

_Don't tell Cas anything. No matter how heartbroken he is and he doesn't know the reason. I want Dean to tell him on his own._ \- 01:41

**Okay. I promise. Text me sometimes?** \- 01:42

_Yeah. I love you and go to bed now._ \- 01:42

**Okay, okay Mom. I love you, too.** \- 01:43

Sam put his phone away and decided to pack hiss bag.  


*******************************  
**(A/N: Maybe listen to Kodaline - All I want from here. Maybe you will feel what I felt while writing this.)**  
  
  
A week has gone by since Castiel has heard something of Dean or seen him. He went to the Winchester's house a couple of times but nobody opened. Castiel didn't think much of it. They were probably on vacation somewhere and Dean forgot to tell Cas, as dopey as Dean was sometimes. Also he orientated himself after Gabriel, who didn't seem worried at all.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Two months passed since Dean has left Cas. He left without saying a word.  
Castiel knew he was getting too much for Dean to handle.  
At first he thought he was only gone for a little while. He didn't lose hope. Every few days Castiel went to the Winchester's house, to see if he was home already. He really started missing him. But there was not a single Winchester to be seen. One day Castiel decided to go for it and ask a neighbour if they knew anything but they didn't. They only said that they haven't seen them in a while.  
Did they really just leave without telling Castiel anything?

It was December. Only a few days away from Christmas and Castiel did nothing but sit in his room and stare at his blank wall. Since he noticed that Dean was gone. That Dean left him without saying a thing, he stopped eating regularly. He lost a lot of weight and did barely take care of himself anymore.  
If Dean really love Cas, why did he leave him?  
All he wanted was to be happy. He thought after everything he would finally be happy again but this wasn't happening. Why would Cas deserve to be happy anyways?  
This time it was true. Dean Winchester pushed Castiel into depression. His parents tried to do something about it but they didn't want to put him in any clinic, knowing that after all Castiel would never come home again. His siblings tried to talk to him but none of them were able to reach through him. Still every once in a while Castiel made his way to the Winchester's house. Just to be disappointed again. He dropped himself in the snow sometimes. Just staying there. Not caring that his clothes were getting all wet.  
Everything Cas wanted was to hear Dean knocking at his door. He wanted to see Dean's face at least once more. Once more to say goodbye. Even if it killed him inside. That part of him, that wasn't dead already.

"Cas? Will you come down to eat with us?" He heard the voice of his little brother. But he didn't reply. Instead he just sat there doing nothing. Just staring at his blank wall.  
At night he was chased by nightmares. He woke up crying, screaming in the middle of the night.  
Who knew how long this would continue. Who knew how long it would take until it killed him.


	22. Everything comes to an end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally here the last chapter is. I'm really sorry for not updating for such a long time but the main reason is that I've been writing a lot at my writing tumblr. 
> 
> Also I started a new fanfic. It's also a Destiel one. I don't know when I will post new chapters but I'll try to post there at least once a week. Otherwise just hit me up at my tumblr. I will link both down in the text window.

[Bad Blood - Serial killer!Dean x Castiel AU](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5223983)

[My writing Tumblr](http://desiringspnimagines.tumblr.com/)

* * *

**////SMUT WARNING////**

It was another sleepless night for Castiel. Another sleepless night because otherwise nightmares would take over him. Castiel wasn't sure when he heard something hit his window. He thought it was his imagination. But it happened over and over again.

Slowly Cas rose from his bed to see what was going on. When he opened his window a stone nearly hit his face. Castiel glanced outside and didn't believe his eyes. Dean was standing outside.

"Shit, did I hit you?" Dean asked but made sure to stay as quiet as possible. Castiel didn't reply though. He closed the window and rushed down the stairs to enter his garden. A smile was spread across Dean's face as he saw Cas. He seemed to get a kiss but instead he got slapped.

"You just leave for months and think turning up like this is okay?!" Tears were flooding down Castiel's cheeks.

"Cas.. look I'm sorry... but let me explain to you..." Dean said, his smile already faded.

"What is going... Dean Winchester, oh I'm glad to see you," Balthazar stormed towards Dean and picked him up by the collar of his shirt, pushing him against a tree.

"What do you think you're doing here?! Just leave my brother, get him to the deepest depression, he doesn't eat, he doesn't come out of his room, he doesn't talk, he doesn't shower or only once a few weeks and you just think showing up here again would be a good idea?!" Balthazar shouted.

"I-I-I'm sorry.. I-I can explain.." Dean stuttered.

"You can? I'm listening!" Balth hissed.

"Let him go.. I want to talk to him.." Castiel said. His brother was surprised at his words. But just as Cas told him, Balthazar let go and went inside again. Castiel reached for Dean's hand and pulled him inside, up to his room, where he locked the door behind himself.

"Talk," Castiel said as he glanced at Dean.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you. Okay at first I didn't because I thought we would only be gone for a few days and I didn't want you to break your head over it. But as it started to become weeks I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't know how to explain this to you. And sometimes when I knew I had no signal. Be sure that Sam made me feel guilty for it because he told Gabriel right away... And if it wasn't for Sam we probably wouldn't be back now. I'm really sorry and I accept it if you don't want me back, if you want me to leave. I accept it," Dean's voice became shaky while he talked. Castiel knew he was sorry. Still he was disappointed and hurt but he was willing to start over.

"Say something, Cas," Dean was nearly crying. Castiel must've been silent much longer than he thought. But instead of saying something, he pulled Dean close and pressed his lips onto Dean's. Within a second Dean returned the kiss, passion filled it. Dean placed his hands onto Cas' waist, pulling him even closer, removing every space between them. Castiel slowly pushed Dean onto his bed so he sat down and Cas straddled him.

His fingers were tangled in Dean's hair, pulling it a slightly causing a moan to roll from Dean's lip. A grin spread across Cas' face until he started pulling of Dean's sweater. His skin was shining beautiful in the moonlight shining through his window. While Castiel took his time staring at Dean, Dean took off Castiel's sweater as well. But his face was filled with sadness as he looked at Castiel's body. He had to admit that he didn't look that good anymore.

"I'm so sorry Cas," Dean mumbled.

"Let's not talk about that now," Castiel breathed out as he pressed kissed along Dean's jawline down to his neck. How he missed Dean. Another moan left Dean's mouth and Cas was able to feel his length growing underneath him. Cas backed up a little only to unbutton and take off Dean's pants and boxers. While he stood he took off his own sweatpants, his luck he wasn't wearing boxers. Again Cas sat down onto Dean's lap and pressed his lips onto Dean's once more, both of their growing lengths were rubbing against each other, soft moans escaping both of their mouths. Cas shortly broke the kiss, only to grab some lube from his drawer and put some onto his hand before rubbing it on Dean's dick. He threw the lube aside and positioned his hole above Dean's dick, his tip gently pressing against his hole already. Castiel glanced at Dean before guiding his length in and slowly sliding down until he completely filled Cas. As Castiel adjusted to Dean he started moving up and down slowly while kissing Dean. Dean wrapped his arms tight around Cas to pull him as close as possible while still thrusting into him. Their kisses were passionate and loving. Everything they couldn't show each other over the months, they showed each other right now.

Dean sped up the pace of his hips jerking up. It didn't take much longer until both of them were close and finally released. Dean spilled his hot load inside of Cas while Cas blew his load over Dean's upper body. Dean let himself drop to his back, Castiel still on top of him before Cas got off of him and laid down beside him.

"I still love you," Castiel whispered as he cuddled against Dean and wrapped his blanket around both of them.

"I love you too," Dean said as he pressed a kiss onto Cas' temple.

 

* * *

 

 

Finally they graduated and with graduating a great future was about to come. Dean and Cas found an apartment not far from where they supposed to live and decided to move there together. They made a deal that whenever John had to leave with more than just himself, he would leave at least Sam at home and Dean and Cas would watch over him. Castiel got better. He was finally happy again and he was smiling again. And now that he was able to move, together with his boyfriend, was going to make things even better. He was away from things that only caused sadness and he was glad. Even though he promised to visit a lot for his little brother.

"Hey Cas," Dean shouted from the living room of their new apartment.

"Yes?" Cas came over smiling.

"You know, we've been going through a lot and after all we still found each other over and over again. And I know no matter through how much crap we have to go through we will always find a way through it. I know I want to be with you all my life. Cas, do you want to marry me?" Dean knelt down. Castiel's hand flew up to his mouth. He couldn't believe it. He expected anything but this.

"Oh god, Dean. Yes!" Castiel smiled widely before pulling his love up and pressing his lips against his. This was going to be the start of something great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. That was this fanfiction!  
> I hope you're all happy with how this ended.  
> I want to thank anyone who read this and for leaving comments. It really means a lot and helped me with writing more.
> 
> Maybe see you on tumblr or on my next fic!


End file.
